


while we live, let us live

by siojo



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 20:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15804246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siojo/pseuds/siojo
Summary: When Hanzo goes missing, McCree and Genji are left trying to deal with the fallout as Lena searches for him in the Slip Stream. When they get him back, he's not how he was when he left. Hanzo at sixteen was a much different person then Hanzo at thirty-eight.





	while we live, let us live

**Author's Note:**

> For the McHanzo RB, I got to work with the awesome nhemesihi on tumblr. http://nhemesihs.tumblr.com/post/177416039358/title-while-we-live-let-us-live-rating-t-tags
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: I apologize for the formatting error, didn't realize that my page breaks didn't carry over.

Hanzo catches sight of D.Va in the distance, her mech easy to spot amongst the mess of buildings that they were trying to fight through, much easier than finding McCree or Jack when they were slipping through the area towards the objective. His eyes catch on something glinting, too bright to be anything but McCree’s High Noon, taking a moment to watch him remove the group attempting to stop him before scanning for the rest of their ground forces.

 

Tracer whistles, sitting on the edge of the building that Hanzo had taken residence on top of, “Look at that,” she grins glancing over to him. “You’re looking bored up here, got nothing to do?”

 

“There is not much here to do,” Hanzo answers, lowering his bow as Jack takes care of the man that had been sneaking up on him. “It has been quiet.”

 

“Does that mean,” Tracer vanishes, her voice continuing over the comms instead, “You’re thinkin’ about what you’re gonna do when you get back to base?”

 

“I’m sure that I do not know what you are talking about, Lena.”

 

Tracer laughs, “Sure you don’t. You mean you wouldn’t rather be back at base gettin’ some of McCree’s attention? I hear good things about what he can do.”

 

“Lena, are ya tellin’ stories about me? To Hanzo?” McCree sounds like he is laughing and Hanzo wants to sigh. He should have known. “You don’t even know what I can do, stop tryin’ to make Hanzo blush.” there’s a long moment of silence before Hanzo hears McCree continue. “That’s my job, ain’t it, darling?”

 

“I am sure that I have no idea what you speak of, McCree,” Hanzo states, taking care of someone trying to sneak up on McCree. “But please pay attention, I would hate to have to tell your friends that you have died.”

 

“Aw, darling,” McCree coos, taking the time to grab the arrow and shove it somewhere underneath his sarape. “You care about me? You see that Lena? Hanzo loves me and he even goes outta his way to save my ass.”

 

Tracer is still laughing, “You mean he doesn’t like-”

 

“I don’t want to hear this,” Jack states suddenly, his voice sharp. “And keep the comms quiet unless you have something to report.”

 

“I have something to report,” Ana states and Hanzo feels something cold settle in his chest. “Hanzo and Jesse need to stop getting lost in,” she coughs delicately, as if she’s offended and hadn’t laughed herself sick at the time. “Conversation in the firing range.”

 

Hanzo shoots one of her targets before she can pull the trigger, “I’m sure that I don’t know what you are speaking of Amari. Perhaps your sight is going in your old age, since you seem to be mistaking things for what they aren’t.”

 

“My sight is better than ever, actually,” Ana is smirking and Hanzo can hear it over the comms, “But it doesn’t take a cybernetic eye to see the two of you fumbling around each other like foolish teenagers. Like those movies that you and Freeha used to watch, Jesse.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ bout, Amari,” McCree states taking his time to clear the street he had made it to. “What movie could we have been watchin’ with teenagers.”

 

“Considering my daughter was a teenager and you might as well have been one, the way you acted?” Ana asks. “Those romance movies, the ones where they’re all in high school.”

 

Tracer laughs, “Were you watching teenage rom-coms, Jesse? Did you and Freeha stay up late watching teenager drama?” her voice crackles out for a moment. “I can’t wait to throw this back on her. I might finally have revenge.”

 

“You watched teenage romance movies!” D.Va shrieks. “Jesse McCree and Freeha Amari watched teenage romance movies?”

 

“Genji and I used to watch those, what are they called,” Hanzo frowns in thought, the words he needs escaping him for a long moment. “Spaghetti Westerns, I believe they are called? Genji use to sneak them into the compound and we would watch them, he thought that the hats were cool.”

 

There’s a long moment of silence and Hanzo almost worries that he has said the wrong thing before he hears D.Va’s muffled laughter and spots her mech, sitting entirely still. Ana is next, her mouth twitching as she glances back at him.

 

“You’re telling me, Genji Shimada, who complained the one, count them one, time that I tried to put on a western movie, likes the old fashioned Spaghetti Westerns?” McCree demands.

 

“You are not one to talk, since they are where you seem to have gotten your fashion advice from,” Hanzo shoots back, taking out a straggler that seemed to have escaped Jack as some point. “Though, I do not seem to remember them wearing sarapes, mostly ponchos.”

 

“I came out here to attack people, not ta be attacked by my own boyfriend,” McCree states and Hanzo doesn’t need to look at him to know that he’s pouting. McCree always looks like those sad pictures of puppies that want food or some other item that is being kept from them. It’s almost enough to make Hanzo apologize, but not quite. “I thought you loved me?”

 

“All is fair in love and war. Is that not what you said the last time that I was entrapped in something like this?” Hanzo asks.

 

“Something not right.” Hanzo can almost feel the way that the air around them seems to freeze, something sharpening in that moment. “I want you all to pull back to the ORCA,” Jack orders. “Now.”

 

“Getting paranoid,” Ana asks, her voice light. “You know that’s what happens to soldiers who get old. They start to see danger around every corner,” but she doesn’t argue, sliding the safety onto her rifle and moving it to hang across her back. “Come on then children, Jack says it’s time to head home.”

 

Hanzo adjusts his quiver but keeps his bow in hand, the last time that Jack had complained that something didn’t feel right, they had been forced to fight their way through far more goons than they had been expecting. The only reason that it hadn’t been worse was McCree’s habit of picking up Hanzo’s arrows when he came across them in the field.

 

“We were just startin’ to have fun too,” D.Va sounds disappointed, but her mech starts back to the ORCA without another word.

 

Hanzo keeps his eye on McCree, who moves back towards the ORCA faster than D.Va, searching his surroundings as he goes, even slowing down at corners to peek around them instead of just running past as he was prone to. Not that it did much since his hat was big enough to give him away before he could see anything. Almost like he was worried.

 

“You headin’ back,” Tracer asks, pausing on the rooftop beside him. “I can keep an eye out on them.”

 

“If you are certain?” Hanzo says slowly, the question hanging open ended in the air. “I am more than able to stay here to assist you with making sure they reach the ORCA.”

 

Tracer shakes her head, grinning, “I’ve got this. I’m sure that your boy’s gonna be waiting for you to show up and give you one of those spinning kisses cause he missed you so much.”

 

“That is not true,” Hanzo states but Tracer is gone again, hurrying away with that glitter in her eyes that means she’s the one spreading the rumors about McCree’s habit of kissing him once they see each other. “And you do not even listen.”

 

There’s nothing between Hanzo and the ORCA but the bodies of those that they have already taken out, but he doesn’t let his guard down. For all that they might tease Jack, it’s well known that his instincts are still as sharp as they have always been. Ana would not listen to him without questioning him if she thought that he was slipping because of his age.

 

“There ya are, darlin’,” McCree says, arms draped around his shoulders. “Thought ya would be the last one ta reach us.”

 

“Tracer thought that I should,” Hanzo stops at the sudden burst of gunfire from his ear, more distant when he turns pressing against his earpiece to try and hear better and feeling McCree do the same.

 

“We’re taking on fire,” Jack says quickly, voice sharp and flat. “D.Va’s surrounded and I’ve lost sight of Tracer.”

 

Tracer’s voice crackles between jumps, “I’m covering D.Va’s escape, she’s blown her mech.”

 

“I’m alive,” D.Va agrees, voice just loud enough to be picked up by the comms. “I’m on my way to the ORCA,” there’s a sudden hiss. “Sniper.”

 

Hanzo is already moving back towards the battle before the others can move, arrow sliding into place as he follows the broken directions from D.Va, who sounds like she’s firing back with her light gun, it helps him find them, D.Va hidden behind a dumpster in the alley, picking people off as best as she can while Tracer leaves a streak between one moment of visibility and the next.

 

“The sniper?” he asks trying to get a better look at the area.

 

D.Va gestures, “That part of the building keeps me from being targeted by them, they’re just sitting there currently, I haven’t noticed them moving, but they’re missing Tracer.”

 

Hanzo adds ‘for now’ to the end of that sentence because snipers only miss until they hit. Either they eventually hit what they were trying to or they were forced to stop shooting. He leans forward, jerking back when a bullet hit the wall just to the left of him.

 

“I will go around to see if they will keep eyes on this spot here so that I may get a better shot,” Hanzo states already moving before D.Va can speak, keeping low since he didn’t yet know what the sniper’s sightline was.

 

He can hear the sound of gunfire escalating as he moves down the alley after that, eyes focused on the upper corner that D.Va had pointed towards before he had left her, frowning when he caught a glimpse of a rifle. He darts a look to Tracer, covering his eyes as one of she activates one of her pulse bombs, something cold settling in his stomach as he sees the angle of the gun. His feet move before he could consciously think about it, shoving himself and Tracer to the side, out of the path of the bullet if he is lucky.

 

Something shatters and Hanzo winces as something slices his cheek. There’s a moment, as he spots Ana and McCree rounding towards them that he thinks that it’s going to be alright, before everything vanishes before his eyes.

  


* * *

  


“I’m not picking up anything in relation to their comms,” Winston says as McCree tries not to pace the small section of space that isn’t covered in something, his arms moving as he flips through the different frequencies and checks the cameras that he has hacked closest to where they had vanished, hoping to catch a second of either Lena or Hanzo, only to come up empty handed once more. “Are you sure this is all the fragments that were found at scene?”

 

“We didn’t leave anything in a thirty meter radius behind,” Jack answers, his arms crossed over his chest as he leans against a wall. McCree’s heard D.va call it his “dramatic” pose, though it doesn’t look all that dramatic without shadows, Gabe always found the perfect shadows. It had always been a talent that McCree had envied. “Except for dead bodies and we moved those and checked them over. As best we could of course with the limited amount of time that we had.”

 

Winston frowns, but doesn’t argue, looking at the multitude of screens and obviously seeing something that McCree wasn’t, “then this is going to be a waiting game. We’ve never been able to make a comm unit that could work while she was inside the slip stream.”

 

“We’re going to have to tell Genji,” McCree says finally, tiredly. “We’re not going to be able keep this from him. He’s not stupid.”

 

“He’s got a point and I don’t think it’s suppose to fall on him to tell Genji either, Jack. No matter how close Jesse is with both Genji and Hanzo.”

 

Jack nods, “I’ll inform Genji when he returns. We’re currently hopeful, are we clear, there’s nothing to say that either of them are dead or injured severely, there’s still a chance they will both return. Until we learn otherwise, we are going to treat this as a mission.”

 

“Right, a mission where they both ain’t able to be found by anyone but one of them,” McCree mutters darkly. “If we ain’t able to get Tracer back, ya know that we ain’t gettin’ Hanzo either.”

 

“Thank you,” Jack says, voice steady as his tone dips colder. “But I think I remember that, Agent McCree.”

 

McCree laughs, bitter and loud, “Ain’t an agent, Soldier.”

 

Jack grits his teeth and bites back an order, because McCree is right. He’s not an agent, he shouldn’t have been one to begin with, but Gabriel had seen something in him and decided to give him a second chance. And Jesse McCree had always been more loyal to Gabriel than to Overwatch. All of Blackwatch had, Jack is still surprised that Gabriel, that Reaper, hadn’t tried to take them back when he had revealed to be alive. Even if he was with Talon.

 

“We’ll find them,” he says instead. “I’m sure that Tracer is attempting to return as we speak. She’s always reappeared at some point and it’s better to just wait for her to return than it is to speculate.”

 

“Sure,” McCree states, already leaving.

 

Winston waits for the door to close and the sound of spurs to vanish into the distance, “You do know that if we don’t get Hanzo and Tracer back that this will not be pretty.”

 

“I’m not a fool.”

 

“No, I suppose you aren’t. But I wonder if you have truly thought how badly this could end.”

 

Jack doesn’t answer, but Winston thinks that his point has been made, after all, they all knew that Jesse McCree placed too much onto one person. A promise that held as long as the person that he made it to was still there, a penchant for drinking to forget.

 

“I will make a contingency.”

 

“That’s the best plan that you’ve made in a long time, Jack.”

 

* * *

 

 

“We’ve got a lock,” McCree feels like his heart is going to stop in his chest the minute that Winston’s voice echoes over the base. “We’ve found Lena, I repeat, we have found Lena. Rescue team, head to the ORCA to commence pick up now!”

 

McCree is moving before he can think about it, running to the landing bay to try and get on board before Jack can decide to keep him off the mission. Genji meets him at the entrance, arms crossed over his chest.

 

“Turned down?”

 

“Soldier 76 has stated that I am too ‘emotionally invested’ in the outcome of this mission to be able to complete it to the best of my abilities,” Genji states sharply, his voice cold. “As if he was not the one that made this choice and we are not all compromised by our emotions with such a small team.”

 

“Think he’ll turn me down too?” McCree asks smoothing the wrinkles in the shirt he had fallen asleep in and hoping he didn’t smell as much like booze as he thought he did. “Since, emotionally invested ain’t exactly somethin’ you’ve got a monopoly on.”

 

Genji tilts his head, neither a yes or a no, “We’ll have to see. But do not gather your hopes, he will likely turn you down just as he has done to me. I am sure that he’s got another brilliant talk about emotional compromises and how they can affect the mission.”

 

“He tries that I actually have things that I can try to use against him. I’m hoping that I won’t have to, but I’m not going to stay here if they’ve got Hanzo on lock.”

 

“I wish you luck. I will be with Zen, I believe that my temper is becoming the better of me.”

 

McCree doesn’t watch him go, shoving open the door and hurrying to catch the ORCA, barely stopping when Jack’s hand claps down on his shoulder and tugs him back, “I’m going.”

 

“You’re too invested in this,” Jack states, wearing his visor. “You know that this will affect you more than it will anyone else and we don’t know if there’s a lock on both of them or not. Currently the lock is only on Lena and you know that could mean anything.”

 

“I know that I’m getting on this ship or so help me, Jack, I will try to break your face.”

 

McCree waits, a long lingering moment where Jack almost looks like he’s willing for McCree to try and break him before Ana steps between them, pushing Jack’s hand from McCree’s shoulder.

 

“I think that you sent one of our best back to his room and we need more ground cover,” she states, her arms over her chest. “And if there is anyone who will protect Lena and Hanzo, should we be attacked, Jesse’s abilities are excellent.”

 

There’s a long moment where Jack doesn’t move, he might be looking at them both but the visor doesn’t give anything away. But the hand drops from McCree’s shoulder and he takes a step back, “If you’re sure about this, Ana?”

 

“I’m sure we don’t have enough people to keep rejecting the help that he could provide. And you’ve already sent Genji back inside because he is emotionally compromised.”

 

“Just get on board,” Jack states looking away and McCree thinks that is a victory, moving to follow Ana before Jack can try and change his mind.

 

Ana smiles at him, her head tilted to the side, “It does help that if Hanzo grows too concerned, we can have you to calm him.”

 

“You’re reachin’,” McCree mutters taking a seat and trying not to snap as the rest of the team slowly trickles in. It’s painful that they would, could, be so slow when it could be just a moment and Lena could vanish once more.

 

And McCree didn’t miss that Winston had said Lena had been locked onto, not Hanzo. Which meant that the system couldn’t pick up the frequency of Hanzo’s earpiece, Which wasn’t the worst news to be told. Hanzo could have lost his or turned it off to conserve power while Lena’s remained on, incase they escaped the slipstream long enough for Winston and Athena to get a lock onto it.

 

Thoughts like that make it hard to wait until Jack is back on board, the rest of the team seated as the ORCA starts up and pulls from the base.

 

“We’ve got confirmation that Lena has reappeared in the same location that we last saw her. We don’t have any news on Hanzo just yet, but we are to remain hopeful,” Jack states and beside McCree, Ana snorts, like only a member of Blackwatch would.

 

“He says like the we don’t know anything,” she whispers.

 

McCree wonders what she does know, if she could know about the things that he’s found. There’s secrets in Overwatch, those that sometimes he wonders if even Jack knows, things that make McCree fear himself and the things that he’s done, because he knows some of his orders weren’t what he had been told they were, but he’s always been good at hiding from problems. Or drowning them out in the bottom of liquor bottles.

 

“Deep thoughts,” Angela asks softly, her smile barely there. “We will find Hanzo. He’s far too stubborn to let himself be kept away for long. Not to mention that not even I have gotten an explanation of what those dragons of his can do.”

 

“Ain’t think any of us have,” McCree says instead of the truth. He’s not hopeful. He’s never been a hopeful man, he’s too realistic for that. Hanzo has always been more hopeful than McCree. “Shimadas are pretty tight lipped about them dragons.”

 

Angela hums, “perhaps I should finally corner Genji down for more answers beyond,” she uses finger quotes and McCree wants to find that as funny and strange as he usually does, but all he can feel is guilt and worry. “‘Shimada family magic’.”

 

“Seems like that would be the answer that they would give.”

 

The rest of the flight is silent and McCree is grateful, his head isn’t pounding and his stomach hasn’t rioted, which means that either he’s avoiding that hangover or he’s still drunk. He’s not sure which is the better option, at least when he’s drunk, his aim doesn’t suffer.

 

“I want a perimeter,” Jack snaps as they land. “We heard rumor that the location may have been taken back by Talon agents.”

 

McCree bites back the sharp comment about wanting there to be Talon agents, revenge has always been something that Jack frowned at, even when he was doing it himself.

 

Lena is flickering and mostly blue when they find her, her voice cutting in and out. Hanzo isn’t anywhere in sight and McCree’s stomach feels like it’s dropped through his body, beside him, he can hear the muffled curse that Ana looses, because Ana’s observant in a way that left Jack looking like a fool.

 

“We don’t have time to linger,” Jack shouts breaking them from where they have frozen. “We’re taking Tracer back to stabilize. She’ll have more information about Hanzo.”

 

McCree regrets being a better man, regrets listening to Gabe, who always snapped back at Jack when he said stupid things. The moment that Lena came back alone, was the moment they all should have realized that Hanzo wouldn’t be returning. Instead, he shifts at the sound of footsteps approaching, ready to help lay coverfire. And if he’s a bit more careless with himself than normal, no one notices. He doesn’t expect they will until it costs him more than a few injuries.

* * *

  


“I’m sorry,” Lena says and McCree’s heart stops, even though he knows what’s going to come out of her mouth next. “I lost him. There was,” she looks at her hands instead of at him. “Hanzo was trying to push me out the way, I think, or maybe I stumbled. I’m not sure what the answer might be, but when the sniper hit my accelerator, he was there too.”

 

“Oh no,” Genji whispers softly, like he hasn’t already been told that much, one of his hands curling into a fist. “Did it, did it get deflected into him or something worse?”

 

“No, he was alive last I saw him, I swear,” Lena promises. “We were in a time loop, I had to keep hold of him, but it’s not easy to do anything when everything is moving like that. I,” she ducks her head. “I lost him, he was there one moment and the next he was gone. I promise, as soon as I get cleared, I’ll go hunting him down.”

 

McCree closes his eyes for a moment, a heartbeat of time because he has heard about the studies that have been conducted on Lena and her abilities with slip stream, “It’s not your fault.”

 

“I should have been paying attention to what was going on around me, if I had been then I wouldn’t have needed Hanzo to try and save me.”

 

“He might have just been tripping over his own feet,” Genji sounds like he’s trying to go for humor, but it falls flat. “His footwork has been failing, it is nothing like when I last saw him with a sword. He, he probably tripped over his own feet try to help you.”

 

Lena snorts, but it’s wet and her eyes are red, “I’m going to get him back. I swear that I’ll get him and he’s going to be fine, I’m sorry for loosing him.”

 

“We told you,” McCree drops a hand onto her head, mussing her hair. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know that a sniper would aim for your accelerator,” he tries to grin but he know that it’s not right. “Unless you could see the future?”

 

“I’ll go back for him,” Lena promises. “I’ll get him back.”

 

“I know ya will,” McCree says because his heart is breaking, has been since the moment that Hanzo vanished before him, and he doesn’t know if Lena will be able to find him. If that last morning, where Hanzo had refused to wake up and complained the entire way through getting dressed will be the last morning, but he can’t say that. He can’t bring himself to say that it’s impossible or take that anger, at the sniper and the accident that made Lena like this, out on her. “You’re good at that.”

 

Lena nods, “As soon as Angela clears me, I’ll head back out.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Get some rest before you fall over. You’ll heal faster that way,” McCree grins shoving her shoulder playfully, because that is what he’s supposed to do. He’s supposed to make her laugh and be strong as they settle into wait.

 

“I will,” Lena promises laying back down, sounding more determined than before. “I’ll bring him home.”

 

“And that is the end of visitor’s hours,” Angela says calmly, not bothering to look up from the clipboard in her hands. “Lena needs her rest, you can come back tomorrow to check on her.”

 

McCree huffs, “Alright, alright, we’re clearing out. Ain’t we, Genji?”

 

“Of course, Angela. Thank you for allowing us to meet with Lena,” Genji says softly, nodding to her as he takes a step forward, hand resting on McCree’s arm. “Come now, Jesse, I think that you promised to spend some time on the target ranges with me, did you not?”

 

“Did I,” McCree can’t miss the sharp look in Genji’s eyes. The way his grip tightens on his arm. “I did, come on then, ya ain’t gonna get any better at long range weapons if you don’t practice. Hanzo would have my head if you ain’t improved by the time he comes home.”

 

“See, we shall keep ourselves occupied,” Genji states leading the way out of the room. “Sleep well and recover quickly, Lena.”

 

“I will,” she promises. “Take care of yourselves too.”

 

McCree grins, “O’ course I’ll take care of myself. You’d think that I was gonna do something stupid with the way you keep saying that. Sleep well, Lena.”

 

Lena nods, the anxiety still obvious on her face as he followed Genji out of the medbay and down the hall, not going anywhere near the shooting range that Genji had mentioned in their excuses, only stopping when they got to one of the older meeting rooms, one that McCree knows hasn’t been touched in months. It had been Gabe’s favorite, quiet and out of the way, just like BlackWatch was suppose to be.

 

“You’re upset,” Genji says after a long moment of silence. “Do you know something that I do not?”

 

“Ya don’t know much about what they tested with Lena, do ya?” McCree says even though he expects the answer that he gets when Genji tilts his head to the side, waiting for McCree to elaborate. “They did a lot of tests. They stopped doing it after the third one that they lost. Lena could never find them, not even a trace.”

 

Genji’s hands tighten their grips, “You mean-”

 

“I don’t wanna get my hopes up, not when Lena’s lost scientists with technology that was supposed to keep them from gettin’ lost and it didn’t work. I want Hanzo back. I want Lena ta find him and bring him back ta base but she’s never been able to do it before now.”

 

“I see,” Genji says slowly. “Were you lying to her before? About how you knew that she would return Hanzo to us?”

 

McCree nods, feeling so much older than he has in a long time, “I can’t tell her that I know the likelihood of him returning home are slim ta none, because that will upset her and she’ll search forever. But if I tell her that she can do it, than when she fails, I can tell ‘er that she did all that she could. She’ll be upset that she failed me, but she won’t keep trying to blame herself.”

 

“You sound like you have had experience with this before,” Genji says slowly.

 

“There’s a lot o’ names in Lena’s file. People who volunteered for tests or ones she tried to help and slipped from her grasp. They never made it back. She would spend all her time hunting them down, finding the right place and searching. She always thinks she can bring them home, that this will be the time that she’s gonna win.”

 

Genji nods and McCree isn’t sure if the fact he can’t see Genji’s face is better or worse. He doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that he’s broken the truth to him. Would it have been better to let Genji believe Lena could get Hanzo home? That she would find him and bring him back like it was a fairytale instead of live, McCree is always the worst when it comes to this kind of thing.

 

“Thank you,” Genji says finally, voice unreadable, “For telling me. I shall keep this in mind.” he’s quiet for a long moment, “I think I will retire early to get my files in order. Good night.”

 

“Night,” McCree says watching him go, before heading towards the range, leaning back against one of the barriers that separate the shooters from the range as feeling the news settle over him. “Fuck.”

 

He’s tired, his eyes burn and his hands are shaking, he can’t help but think that if Hanzo had made it home. Was here now instead lost, gone and McCree can’t imagine him coming home. He wants to close his eyes and pretend that he’s waiting for Hanzo to step out here with his bow for another late night of target practice that always ended with flirting and hurrying to their room like they’re teenagers instead of adults.

 

“You need to sleep,” Fareeha says softly, appearing like a ghost at his side, her hand squeezing his shoulder. “Hanzo wouldn’t like to see you starting this.”

 

McCree breaths out slowly, smoke curling upwards from his mouth, “I’ll go to bed after I finish this,” he says and he hopes that Fareeha will mistake that for a promise. “What are you doing up so late, you only got back just before we left.”

 

“Like I wouldn’t check on you after hearing what happened, mom told me that you would be out here. She’s worried to, you know” Fareeha doesn’t smile, but her face is softer and her hand squeezes again. “Do you need some company?”

 

“I think I’ll be fine,” McCree lies. “Get to bed, you look worse than when we stayed up for three days trying to cram for your exams over Skype.”

 

Fareeha snorts, too tired to keep prying, “I’ll be back to bug you in the morning you know, until you tell me exactly how you’re feeling. Or I’ll have mom get it out of you and she’s far more willing to use force,” she squeezes his shoulder. “I’m here if you need me.”

 

“Gettin’ sappy,” McCree states instead of admitting he knows that. “Go sleep before your mom comes to hunt ya done and snipes ya to sleep again, she’s getin’ better at finding ways around your armor.”

 

“She does,” Fareeha yawns, still looking reluctant to leave him. “Are you sure that you’ll be going to bed?”

 

McCree doesn’t think of his bedroom, their bedroom, with Hanzo’s things still strewn about. With those stupid poems that Hanzo could never keep in one place and ended up spread over the desk and spilling across the floor, constantly underfoot and appearing in strange places. The pile of arrows missing their fletching or the arrow head and the tangled mess of bow strings that’s taken space beside McCree’s gun cleaning kit. He thinks of the bottle of whiskey that he’s been hiding in the training room for the next time he and Hanzo had some time to themselves, and how maybe, if he’s lucky, he can forget.

 

“Course,” McCree rolls his eyes, because he knows how to act to get her to move on. “Get some rest.”

 

“Night, sleep well,” Fareeha yawns, footsteps steady as she heads back inside, the door closing quietly behind her.

 

“Night,” McCree mutters, snuffing out his cigarillo and pushing himself upright. Drinking is what’s kept him going this long, helped him until Hanzo had helped him. It should be able to help him after.

 

* * *

  
  


“He’s strong,” McCree pretends to listen, his head throbbing. He doesn’t know if it’s from a hangover or the lack of sleep he’s been getting, but it feels like his brain is being stabbed repeatedly. “You know that, he’s going to be back before you know it.”

 

Hana says it like she believes it and McCree doesn’t have the heart to break those hopes for her. Maybe when Lena returns empty handed, like she’s going to in the end, Hana will realize the dangers of being too close to Lena when she lost control. For now, he listens and pretends that he believes them when they talk, smiling politely and pretends that he’s not draining his whiskey stash each night.

 

“I think I saw him,” Lena says suddenly, the bags under her eyes gaining a life of their own as she sips the coffee that Angela had given her. The type of coffee that people would say could peel paint and made McCree’s hangover evaporate. “The last time that I was out looking, he,” she looks up and it’s so _hopeful_ that it burns. “I saw him and he was looking at me. He looked at me and vanished, he’s still alive. I know it.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll brin’ him home soon,” McCree states making sure that his smile is just as hopeful as theirs and looks like he believes every word that is being said. “Don’t wear yourself out doin’ it, Lena.”

 

Lena shakes her head, “I have to, the sooner he comes home the better. You do want him to come home, don’t you? And if I can find him-” she cuts herself off, glancing at Hana and McCree knows what she’s going to say.

 

 _If I can find him, he’ll be the first one that’s come_ **_back_ **.

 

“You’re not moving from the base until you get some sleep,” Angela states tucking some of the hair escaping her ponytail behind her ear. “And food. You can go back out in twelve hours and if you sneak out, I will have Winston remotely deactivate the pieces of your device that let you move like that.”

 

“Can he do that?” Lena demands. “Because I don’t think he can do that.”

 

“Sometimes, ya just don’t know,” McCree says wisely, leaning back and pulling his hat down to shade his eyes to relieve some of the pain. “Could be that he’s able to do lots o’ things.”

 

Hana frowns at him, eyes narrowed, “I suspect that you do not always speak English, even when the others say that you do. What is o. What is it doing in the middle of your sentence? Why is it alone?”

 

“Jesse likes to leave off letters,” Freeha answers dropping onto the couch and throwing an arm around his shoulders, squeezing his bicep. “Like o is probably of, instead of ‘lots of things’ it becomes ‘lots o things’.”

 

“Would it not be easier to just say the whole word?”

 

“I’m not changin’ my ways,” McCree states firmly. “I’ll talk how I please.”

 

Freeha laughs as McCree shakes off her arm, “he’s a cowboy. Who knows where he got that idea, it’s just his gimmick now. Like Mercy is an angel and I think Genji’s got some kind of ninja gimmick going on for himself,” she elbows him. “Right, Jesse?”

 

“You wanna talk about gimmicks?” McCree says raising an eyebrow. “An’ I always dressed like this, you can ask her mom.”

 

“The accent sees to get worse every time I hear him,” Ana states when they turn their attention to her. “And you didn’t wear spurs when you joined us.”

 

Angela rolls her eyes, “Come now, Lena. It’s time to go to sleep, you can talk to the others before you leave tomorrow. You need to rest or I’ll keep you here even longer.”

 

“Mercy,” Lena whines, standing reluctantly. They all knew that Ana would help Angela if she was asked to knock them out. “I’m just wanted to watch a movie. It’s movie night.”

 

That’s a lie, they all know it’s a lie, because none of them are up for movie night. Certainly not McCree or Genji. McCree wonders sometimes if they buys his act, if they think that he doesn’t care at all because he’s gotten so good at pretending that he’s not affected by anything. How can he not be after Blackwatch, after being on the run, after coming back to find out that Gabriel either betrayed them or was forced to work for their enemy?

 

“You should sleep too,” Fareeha says after a long moment. “Got bags under your eyes that look like they’re gonna take over your face.”

 

“You say the sweetest things,” McCree states smiling easily as he glances at one of the clocks. “I’ll head up to bed, maybe relax before tryin’ to get some sleep.”

 

“Good.”

 

He wonders if he imagines it, a moment where he can feel the weight of someone watching him, like they know he’s lying before it vanishes, “Night ya’ll.”

 

“Sleep well,” Fareeha waves before turning to bother Ana, whispering too low for McCree to hear them.

 

The pathway to his room is empty and he stops outside the door for a long moment, already knowing that the inside would be dark and almost the same as when they left for their mission. He couldn’t bare to be inside it, not for longer than a handful of moments before he had to flee, to escape from the memory of Hanzo vanishing before his eyes.

 

He opens the door and leans in enough to snatch a bottle of his favorite from the rack that Hanzo had insisted upon when he had found McCree’s stash hidden on the bottom of his closet, closing the door behind him and hurrying to the stairs that would take him to the roof. Making sure to duck around a corner when he hears Lucio coming up the stairs.

 

The roof is deserted, just like McCree thought it would be, the trio of bottles that he had drunk last night waiting for him like tiny glass graves. He drops down beside them, sighing as he leans back to stare at the stars.

 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, ya know,” McCree tells them, opening the bottle and ignoring the shot glass he had brought up the first night, thinking he could control himself. “Don’t know if I ever told ya that, but I’m not a strong man and losin’ someone else? Don’t think I’m strong enough to make it through that. Not without,” he taps the neck of the bottle. “Gonna be drinkin’ worse than I was when we met.”

 

He swallows, not able to take a drink just yet, “Please come back home.”

* * *

  


“So this is where you’ve been,” Genji’s voice is louder than McCree wants to hear after a night of drinking to forget. To pass out so his memories don’t linger and haunt him, which appears to have worked for him tonight at least. “How many of those are from last night?”

 

“I don’t need ya tellin’ me that he wouldn’t like it,” McCree says instead because he doesn’t want to have this talk. He doesn’t want to hear that Hanzo is going to be upset with him. He doesn’t want to hear the hope that Genji’s stubbornly clung to even with the information McCree has given him. “I already know that much without ya tellin’.”

 

“But you are still doing it,” Genji states as McCree tips his hat further into his eyes and blink blearily at the sky, still dark enough to be anytime after midnight. “Why would you drink yourself to death like this?”

 

McCree hums, deciding his still drunk. He had too much to be sober again after only a few hours of rest, “You don’t know much about my drinking problem, do you? Think Ana knows, but sometimes I think she knows everything.”

 

“Drinking problem?”

 

“Mhm, used to drink like this all the time. Hanzo helped, made it seem better. He ain’t here, so…”

 

The sentence is open ended and light hearted as McCree can manage, but he can hear the hissed breath that Genji takes as it whistles as if between teeth. He wonders if Genji will tell him what he thinks if he waits for a moment, if he’s patient enough.

 

“And my brother, he knows of this problem?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Genji sighs, tiredly as his shoulders slump and he looks human, if McCree doesn’t look at him directly. If he pretends hard enough. He’s never knew Genji when he had been entirely human, but he’s heard stories and seen pictures, and Genji seems less cyborg than he looks.

 

“You’re still worried about him. If he’ll come home or not.”

 

“Told ya what Lena’s files said,” McCree states, debating if he should take a look at the bottles and see if there was anything left in one of them. He wasn’t drunk enough to have this talk. “An’ I ain’t stupid. Better ta be prepared, suppose.”

 

“You’re not even giving them a chance.”

 

“Sure I am, but I ain’t letting hope be the only thing I got. Hope ain’t ever got me anywhere, Genji, it’s not gotten me anywhere in this life,” McCree yawns and shifts his hat. “What do ya think I’m gonna do? Sit here and slowly, slowly die everytime that Lena returns without Hanzo? Am I just suppose to wait and wait until there’s no hope left?”

 

“That is not what I’m saying.”

 

“That seems to be what’s implied.”

 

“I’m not here to fight with you about this,” Genji breathes out slowly and McCree glances at him. “I came to see if you were alright because I couldn't find you in your room or in the training rooms.”

 

“I’ll be fine. I’m good at coping, have been for years now, Ana will tell ya that much,” McCree stands because Genji won’t let him drink more right now and if he can’t, he might as well get some coffee. “Has Lena already left for the day?”

 

“Left before false dawn. Snuck out because technically it was morning, but we know that Angela wouldn’t have let her out for several more hours,” Genji answers, because he’s letting McCree change the subject. McCree knows that it’ll come back up at some point. “She’ll keep us up to date as it goes.”

 

McCree nods, leading the way down to the kitchen, “I’m sure that she’ll try her best.”

 

That’s not a lie. Lena will do her best, will keep doing her best until there’s not a moment of hope left. Until there’s no way for her to even hope that Hanzo’s alive there somewhere. He doesn’t know when that moment will come, he wasn’t there for the incidents listed in her files, but he does know that it will come and he needs to be prepared for it.

 

The day is quiet. McCree is expecting that, it’s going to be quiet and there’s going to whispers about how Hanzo will come back for at least the next month. He’s not expecting it to last much longer than that, but if it does, he wouldn’t be upset. At least he doesn’t think so. He’s not so sure anymore, at some point, someone will set him off. Will make him laugh, because he’s bitter and he’ll destroy any of the hope that they have left.

 

He still avoids them to the best of his abilities, spending too much time in the shooting range and in one of the quiet rooms upstairs that aren’t usually remembered by most of the people in the building. An old bedroom for someone that hadn’t lived through BlackWatch’s time, from when Overwatch had been a shining beacon. But it’s perfect for someone who wants to avoid everyone else.

 

He’s not expecting the alarms to go off sometime after dinner, a meal that he had avoided because he could smell one of his favorites and it’s too much to deal with right now. Because they’re trying to comfort him with things that are suppose to be what he likes.

 

“What is it?” he asks sliding up behind Ana, though he’s sure that she heard him approach. “I thought the compound was secure?”

 

“Not sure myself,” she mutters, but she’s speeding up and he moves to stay with her. “But I think we best get to the entrance.”

 

Lena grins, on her knees and gasping for air, as they reach her at the gate, her jacket thrown over the person in her arms, “Found him. I got-”

 

She tilts forward dangerously and Jack is there to catch her, there to make sure that she doesn’t collapse on her face and prevent Hanzo from falling to the ground.

 

“Mercy!”

 

“He’s not,” McCree mutters tilting his head, because he looks almost like Hanzo. Almost in the same way that younger siblings can look like older siblings. “He’s too young. Genji?”

 

“I have no idea,” Genji states slowly. “But I think that is my brother. I don’t understand how, but that is Hanzo.”

 

“Fuck,” McCree hisses, biting down too hard on the end of his cigarillo. “An’ now we’re gonna have to wait for Lena to wake up for any answer.”

 

He’s not sure if he wants them, but, he glances at this person who could be a younger version of Hanzo, he was almost certain that he is going to get them.

 

* * *

 

“The dragons had him,” Lena whispers, biting her lip as she glances at Hanzo’s bed, her hands clasped in her lap. “They said-”

 

“They talked to you?” Jack asks and McCree squeezes his hands around his biceps because he wants answers. They could ask anything that they needed to later, after they know what occured. “Actually spoke to you?”

 

“I-,” she shrugs, looking helpless. “I’m not sure. I know that there were words and that they spoke, but I’m not sure if it was in my head or verbally. It’s, you try looking down two very large dragons and trying to do anything but be horrified.”

 

Ana puts a hand on Jack’s shoulder before he can ask something else, “After we get answers, we can ask for details. I think that Genji and McCree are more interested in the story before we get what you’re so interested in.”

 

“Keep going,” Jack states and McCree’s shoulders relax, it’s easier to relax when there’s answers so close.

 

“They said that Hanzo got lost in time and when you’re lost in time, you slowly start to revert backwards. Or at least Hanzo started reverting backwards. He would have kept going back, into an infant and even into non-existence, if they hadn’t pulled him into some type of time hole. They weren’t very specific and I wasn’t going to ask too much.”

 

Jack leans forward, his elbows on his thighs as he things over something, “A time hole?”

 

“Don’t know what that is,” Lena admits. “The scientists might have said something about that, but I wasn’t ever real focused on their theories and the like. Too worried about if this,” she taps her chronal accelerator. “Failing me.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Will we be able to get Hanzo back,” Genji asks softly. “He’s, will he be stuck like this or will we be able to get him back to the proper age?”

 

“I should be able to find a way to get him back to normal,” Winston answers. “We’re not entirely without our own research on Lena’s abilities. We’re not going to give up on returning Hanzo to himself, there is no worry on that front.”

 

Genji snorts, quiet enough that McCree isn’t sure that anyone else could have heard him, focused more on the small, too small, version of his older brother mostly hidden underneath the blankets of the hospital bed. McCree isn’t sure that he can focus on Hanzo, so young, probably too young to have even killed his own brother yet. There’s a growing pit in his stomach that he won’t ever get his Hanzo back, even if they did get a version of Hanzo returned.

 

“He’s sixteen,” Angela says finally, when Lena doesn’t add more and no one else speaks up. “I think that our main concern is going to be if Hanzo remembers anything. I don’t suppose you remember anything from when your brother was this age before, Genji?”

 

Genji shakes his head, hand curving around the bottom of his face, “My memories of that time are marred by what came after and my own youth. I could not tell you much and what I do remember is biased. We will have to see what happens when he awakens.”

 

“You want us to clear out,” McCree says not looking at Angela because he knows her too well.

 

Angela doesn’t fidget nervously, not like she would have when he was Blackwatch and she was so much younger and almost frightened by Gabriel’s temper, but she looks like she wants to, “I don’t think he should wake up somewhere unknown surrounded by people.”

 

“If my brother awakens without knowledge of where he is, would it not be best for me to be near? I am still his brother and our family has codes, ones for whom we can trust. It would be better for me to stay near him.”

 

“He’s been sedated, he’s going to be out for the night, you can come back in the morning, but at this time,” there’s a stubborn tilt to her head. “I think it’s best if my infirmary was vacated by anyone that doesn’t need to be healed.”

 

“My brother was always waking up from sedation sooner than expected, if-”

 

McCree tunes out the argument and stares at the bundle of blankets, Hanzo is unconscious, he know that much for sure, but he’s not sure if it’s better or worse that he’s home. This isn’t Hanzo, not the one he’s grown to know and loves, this is Hanzo, so young and not yet fully bowed by the desires of his family, from before those desires broke him.

 

“Genji, we’re gonna need ta track somethin’ for him to wear,” McCree says suddenly, interrupting the fight as Angela takes a step forward and her eyes flash with murder. “Help me find some o’ your ol’ shit. Sure Mercy wouldn’t mind us keepin’ watch later, in case he does wake up.”

 

Genji stares at McCree for a moment like he’s never seen him. It’s almost insulting, but he nods and takes a step away from Angela, “I suppose that would be the best choice. I do not know how good their condition will be however.”

 

“Just til we get a know of how long he’s gonna be round.”

 

Jack isn’t a fool, catching on quickly, “I think that it would be best until we know how Hanzo will react. He does know Genji, after all. I don’t think you want anyone destroying your work space.”

 

“Is that an order,” Angela demands and McCree knows she’s making a list of painful and inconvenient exams that she can make Jack suffer through, but can’t deny that he doesn’t need them, in revenge for this. “If it is an order than, of course, I will have no choice but to allow it.”

 

“It’s an order.”

 

“Of course, sir,” that smile is dangerous. “I do hope that you know what you’re doing.”

 

“I hope you two are right,” Jack mutters when she moves away to take care of something.

 

McCree isn’t sure that he cares if Jack suffers, but he nods, “Come on then, best find your things. Might be in the storehouse, ya think?”

 

“I believe so,” Genji spares one last look for Hanzo, before leading the way out the infirmary. “We best get started now, I’m sure that place is a mess.”

 

“Since we ain’t been forced to clean it in years, bet it’s a disaster.”

 

They fall silent until they reach the storehouse and Genji finally turns to look at McCree, something in the way his shoulders slump and his eyes don’t actually look at him.

 

“Will he remember us?”

 

“You’re askin’ a lot o’ me. Ain’t like I know more about what is goin’ on here than you do. Hanzo’s the first one that came back. I know that much, who knows what will have been goin’ on.”

 

“Jesse.”

 

“I don’t know,” McCree answers. “Is that what you want me to say? I don’t know, Genji. I have no fucking clue!”

 

Genji nods, stiff and reluctant, “I’m sorry.”

 

“No ya ain’t,” he pushes past Genji to the storehouse. “Let’s get your shit before Angela tries to block us from the infirmary even with Jack’s orders.”

 

“She would,” Genji agrees. “Jesse?”

 

“Mhm?”

 

“Hanzo, we’ll get him back. Don’t do anything stupid.”

 

McCree glances over his shoulder at him and grins, “Now why would I do that?”

 

Genji stares at McCree’s back for a long moment and tries not to think that it wasn’t a promise. He hadn’t said that he wouldn’t, which worries Genji more than he wants to think about. Maybe Zenyatta would have something to help him when Genji saw him later, but for now, he had more questions.

 

Lena’s room is plastered pictures of airplanes, a model of the one that had caused her accident, and pictures of her girlfriend. A mess of clothes on the floor and shoes tossed haphazardly around like the little bumps in parking lots to keep people from speeding.

 

Lena is on the bed, an arm thrown over her eyes and her feet bicycling in the air, “I figured that you would show up, Gen.”

 

“You do know me so well,” Genji agrees sitting down on the edge of her bed and studying a picture signed by the pilot. “You said the dragons spoke to you?”

 

“Thought they did, were in my head. Was loud and echo-y? Made my knees weak,” Lena answers, the sheets rustling as she moves. “They, they’re not like I expected.”

 

“Expecting?” Genji asks curiously. They’re dragons, ones that have passed down their family line for generations, kept reappearing and causing damage with their abilities. Inhumane and dangerous to a fault. “Where you expecting something in particular?”

 

“Prolly like the fairytales, where they’re dangerous and wise?” Lena says helplessly. “I, you’re looking for something in particular about the dragons aren’t you?”

 

Genji shakes his head, “I’m not sure what to think that they will have done to keep my brother, but I’m hoping that you might have more to tell me about the dragons.”

 

“Not sure that I’ll be much help,” Lena admits. “Was distracted by how big they were. And the too loud voice in my head. I’m sorry.”

 

“I think that’s fair, but could you go through it for me again, with all the details that you weren’t able to do before?”

 

Lena sighs, but she sits up and smiles tiredly, “Alright, alright. Get me a piece of paper, would ya? Gonna need to doodle somethings to elaborate.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me, you want to know because it might help us get Hanzo back, don’t cha?” she doesn’t wait for an answer. “They were calling my name, Tracer and Lena, that’s how I found them.”

 

* * *

 

Hanzo knows that this is not his home before he has opened his eyes, the sheets feel strange and he can hear the beep of a monitor and a soft conversation on one of his sides, a card game, if his English isn’t failing him. And that’s another clue that something is wrong, his guards never speak English unless they have to, they default to Japanese.

 

“Go fish,” there’s something smug about the tone and Hanzo doesn’t open his eyes yet. “Ya think ya would know not to ask for the same card twice in a row.”

 

There’s a quiet grumble, something said too low or too far away for Hanzo to truly hear it and he attempts to shift, as if still asleep, rolling onto his side to try and catch a glimpse of those closest to his bedside, sliding a hand down his side and fighting back the way his body almost slumped in relief as he felt the knife still hidden in place.

 

“Wanna be dealt in, kid?”

 

Hanzo’s breath hitches and he knows he’s caught, opening his eyes slowly to stare at the two beside his bed. One is an older man, smoking and dressed like the movies that Genji enjoys so much, if only because they annoy the elders and the rest of their family. The other looks like some kind of Omnic, a robot with eyes a shade of green that Hanzo can almost imagine his rebellious little brother falling in love with, just a thin line.

 

“How did-”

 

“You snore softly,” Cowboy answers shrugging easily. “Don’t suppose ya know who we are?”

 

“My family will not pay you for me, they will sooner kill you for taking me.”

 

The Omnic sighs gustily as the Cowboy laughs, hand slapping against the table, like only an uncouth American would.

 

“Answers that, don’t it?” Cowboy asks Omnic. “Don’t suppose you wanna help me out with this yet? Or ya still working on that thing?” Omnic grunts. “I’m Jesse McCree and you’re in Gibraltar.”

 

“Gibraltar?” Hanzo repeats slowly. “Where Overwatch is located?”

 

“Mhm,” McCree, Cowboy, doesn’t add more to his agreement. “Want to be dealt in, he’s,” he gestures to the Omnic. “Is gonna be thinkin’ for a bit and I’m bored,” his eyes sharpen. “Or ya could try to get me with that little knife that ya got, ya won’t get far, but ya can try.”

 

Hanzo watches McCree, one of his arms is metal, he could easily just grab the knife from Hanzo’s hands should he try to attack and he doesn’t know of McCree’s abilities. He knows that the man was observant enough to catch him waking and to know about his knife. That he didn’t consider the knife to be a danger to him.

 

“You called them blizzards,” Omnic states finally, head tilting to look at Hanzo. “Your dragons, or perhaps you meant father’s, I can no longer remember, but you thought they were ice lizards for many years until you had them explained in more detail.”

 

“How do-” Hanzo stops, the Omnic removing the part of it’s face that Hanzo had assumed were it’s eyes, part of a human face staring at him for a long moment. “Genji?”

 

“Brother.”

 

“You-,” Hanzo isn’t sure what he was planning to say, because only close family knew of the blizzards, they wouldn’t tell someone outside of the clan. “What happened to you?”

 

“An accident,” Genji _lies_. Genji is lying to him and Hanzo hates it because if it weren’t for the way that his dragons hiss the word, Hanzo would believe him. “Just like what happened to you. I will explain later after we have you checked over. Can you wait that long?”

 

“What of our family?” Hanzo demands. “Are they safe?”

 

Genji looks at McCree, “We are no longer part of the Shimada Clan’s Empire. I do not have an exact date for when you left them, but I have been working with a branch of Overwatch for over a decade at this point in time.”

 

“We, we aren’t?”

 

Hanzo doesn’t understand. He was the heir to the family, he was suppose to run the clan after his father died or retired and Genji was suppose to stick to his side, the two of them running the empire together, just as their father had run it with his own siblings.

 

“We have not been a part of that in years.”

 

 _Truth_ , the dragons whisper. He can almost feel them coiling around him like overly large snakes, their size dependant on their mood. But Hanzo can’t help but feel unsettled. He is the heir to the Shimada, his last memory is being in the clan compound on his way to lessons, but here he is now. Apparently years in the future, if Genji’s age is to be believed, with a man that moves like he knows how dangerous he is and smiles so fake that Hanzo doesn’t think he can make one that is real.

 

“I’ll get Mercy, if ya wanna stay with him?” McCree says standing up already, but waiting for Genji to nod before he walks out the room.

 

“You have questions.”

 

Hanzo frowns, “I do not understand how I am here.”

 

“There was an accident, you tried to save someone who is kept in our time by a single device,” Genji is being vague. He’s gotten better at it then Hanzo’s little brother, perhaps it’s the years between then and now, but he edges around things better. Hanzo isn’t sure if Genji’s change, why is his brother mostly robotic, aids him with that either. “You were in contact when it broke.”

 

“I was older before than?”

 

“You were.”

 

He isn’t wanted. They had been looking for the Hanzo that had been lost and found him in his place. Hanzo is careful to keep that discovery to himself, Genji will likely deny it and Hanzo doesn’t wish to know if that answer will be a lie as well.

 

“Hanzo,” McCree has returned with someone else. “This is Dr. Angela Zielger, she’s going to be checking up on you.”

 

“A pleasure,” Hanzo states watching McCree move to the side. He is the most dangerous. Dr. Zielger was too, but she smiles and pretends to be polite, even if it doesn’t reach her eyes and she keeps almost frowning at him.

 

He has done something to upset her greatly. He, older or perhaps it’s in his own past even now, has done something horrible to Dr. Zielger or someone that is important to her. Hanzo knows this look, it’s the same one that he’s seen on those that come to his father humbled. Forced to accept what he has done because they need him but they do not care for him.

 

“How long will it be before I might return home?”

 

“Ah,” Genji’s shoulders shift, a nervous tick that even Hanzo recalls well. “We don’t know yet. We have our best looking into getting you home, but-”

 

“We ain’t too sure how ya got like this, we’ve got a bit o’ information that we’re lookin’ inta. We’ll keep ya up ta date if ya want us to.”

 

Hanzo doesn’t narrow his eyes, but he is curious. McCree’s accent had gotten more pronounced the longer that he had been there. As if it was more of a conscious effort than first expected. Genji didn’t say anything about it, which meant that it was normal for McCree to do so.

 

“Are you feeling any discomfort?” Dr. Zielger asks and Hanzo drops that train of thought. “Any unusual pains?”

 

“No.”

 

He would have to watch all of them, each too dangerous for him to turn his back to. No matter if that was Genji, it wasn’t his brother and that made him just as much of a threat as the others. Just as dangerous, because this is not Hanzo’s younger brother but another man, who shares the name and perhaps more, but he is more omnic than human and Hanzo can’t trust him like this.

 

“That’s good,” Dr Zielger’s smiles falters. “I’m going to take a blood sample, would that be allowed?”

 

“If you insist,” Hanzo agrees because McCree’s arms flex, muscle showing that he will make Hanzo give the sample requested should he deny Dr. Zielger, a choice that is not truly a choice. Hanzo wonders if that will be how many of those choices he will be presented here.

 

“Thank you. If you two would give me some time alone with my patient?”

 

“If you’re sure?” Genji asks and Hanzo doesn’t know if that is for him or for Dr. Zielger, but he doesn’t linger waiting for a response, “I’ll be right outside.”

 

Hanzo waits until the door has closed, “You do not like me, Dr. Zielger.”

 

“I don’t, we have worked past some things, but we are not, will likely never be, friends. But I’ll never hurt someone in my care, I can promise on something for you,” she says looking at him, refusing to drop eye contact. “I hope that will be enough. And please call me Angela or Mercy, we’ll be working together for some time yet.”

 

“It will be.”

 

It has to be.

 

“I’m not taking him into town for clothes,” McCree states leaning back in a chair as he watches the rest of them shifting in their seats. “He’s gonna need more, Genji’s old shit is still too big and still storage ain’t the best, moths got in ta some of it.”

 

“And he’s much too small for anything that we have on hand,” Angela agrees, tapping her paperwork, far more interested in that than anything else. “Unless Hana would be willing to lend him some things, you’re closest to his current height and weight.”

 

Hana shakes her head, “that’s fairly short. I can probably find something to give him while we go to the store, if only so he doesn’t have to wear Genji’s old things, but would he even like anything there? He’s always wearing things like in those old ninja movies.”

 

“He wears jeans when we have time off,” McCree says like it’s a secret, because Hanzo takes care to avoid the others seeing him dressed in anything that might resemble normal. He thinks it has something to do with how Hanzo’s family made sure he followed their vision of him. “He’s got a shirt from when we did a burger challenge and ate somethin’ like 25 pounds worth of burger each in under an hour.”

 

“It’s like hearing your parents had a life before you were born,” Lucio whispers staring at McCree like he had never seen him before. “You and Hanzo, _I care not for your use of contractions_ Hanzo, take part in burger challenges.”

 

“Food challenges in general,” Genji agrees. “I’m not allowed to do so, since I am not entirely organic, it is considered “cheating”.”

 

“We’re here to discuss taking this version of Hanzo shopping,” Jack reminds them, because he had been the one to take the news that Hanzo needed clothing and make it into a meeting. “Now, what are we going to have to do first?”

 

“Arrange a group, send them in, they return with clothes,” Fareeha answers looking at Jack curiously. “Do you not know how to go shopping? Do you just bulk order all your things and replace them when you’re down to a certain amount?”

 

“I know how to go shopping, Amari.”

 

Ana sets her cup down, the sound loud, “First names please, Jack. Since you have gathered both my daughter and I, it is not easy to tell whom you mean when you ask for or say Amari,” she smiles sharply. “And the last time you went shopping it was for food and you spent twenty minutes staring at peanut butter because you couldn’t remember the brand you liked.”

 

McCree snickers as the rest of the table bursts into laughter, tilting his hat to disguise his glimpse to the side where he could see just the barest hint of Hanzo’s shoulder in the air vent. He’s watching them, suspicious McCree’s sure, of who they are and what they’re planning.

 

“Ana should lead them,” Jack says when it’s calmed down to hiccups from Angela. “Since I have no skill with shopping, according to her.”

 

“I think Genji would be best to bring,” Ana agrees leaning back and picking her team. McCree wonders what it says about them that they’re planning a shopping trip the same way that they would plan a mission. “Hana, if you aren’t busy, and Lucio as well. You both know what is more current with today’s fashions.”

 

Hana nods, leaning back in her chair, “I think we can do that easily. It’s been a while since I went shopping for someone other than myself.”

 

“Ya should go more a’ stop stealin’ people’s sweaters,” McCree states raising an eyebrow at her and smirking when she laughs. “Just the four of you?”

 

“Five counting Hanzo, he’s going to have to come,” Ana reminds him. “We’ll have to go soon, since we have limited time and he needs clothing sooner rather than later.”

 

McCree waits as the meeting starts to break up and Genji is willing to wait with him, a simple signal keeping him in his seat until the others are gone and the doors are closed, even knowing that McCree still checks the vents around them, checking for their little eavesdropper.

 

“You spotted him as well then,” Genji says softly, McCree can almost hear the way he’s smiling. “I do not think that the others noticed. Which is a slight on their skills.”

 

“Ain’t it just?” McCree snorts, leaning back in his chair and getting to his point. “Ya gonna be okay? I hear this Hanzo looks more like the one that killed ya than the one we normally got around.”

 

“You do not pull your punches, do you?” Genji sighs softly, he isn’t looking at McCree however, which says more than McCree thinks Genji wants to give away. “I am confused.”

 

“Confused.”

 

“You do not work as an echo, Jesse,” Genji states calmly and it’s always so strange to hear people use his first name. McCree uses it so rarely that there’s a moment of hesitation where he doesn’t know who they’re talking about when someone calls him it. “He is different than I remember him to be. My memory of Hanzo at this age makes him seem sure of himself, of his place. This version of my brother, he is not.”

 

McCree hums, “Hanzo always said that he wasn’t as confident as he looked when he was young.”

 

“You think it was an act? Or perhaps that I was too young to notice?” Genji asks, McCree nods. “I suppose that could be an option. I will see if which is more correct when we go shopping. He is already in a new environment,” he pauses and leans forward. “He will realize you care for him.”

 

“An’ we’ll burn that bridge when we arrive at it.”

 

Genji laughs, “Burn it?”

 

“Ya never know,” McCree shrugs, because he doesn’t. This isn’t his Hanzo. This is Hanzo when he was young and reckless and thought that the elders were the most important people in the world and he to obey them. “Come on, before they think we’re plottin’ somethin’.”

 

“Are we not?”

 

“Not the way they’ll be thinkin’. You ever gonna use contractions?”

 

“Perhaps, perhaps not.”

 

Yeah, McCree hadn’t thought that he would.

* * *

 

 

“I do not need something so,” Hanzo pauses for a word and Genji hides himself further in the barely there shadows of the wall he’s leaning against. “Bright.”

 

Hana laughs, holding the sweater up and waving the arms of it, making the splatters of bright pink dance in that light, “Come on, Hanzo. It’s super warm, I love this brand, it’s the absolute best. Super durable and even tear resistant.”

 

“And fluorescent,” Hanzo is firm in his stance.

 

Genji isn’t sure what to make of this brother, he hasn’t since Lena brought home this version of him. It’s unsettling and every time he watches Hanzo too closely, he thinks that he might look creepier if he took off his faceplate, all he can see is the way Hanzo’s mouth tilts down the way it always did when he was nervous and the way his eyes dart about to look for the exits. For all that he acts, it’s just an act.

 

Hanzo is scared of them, wary of Genji, and watches them the same way that Genji remembers watching allies who weren’t too close to their clan during meetings.

 

“You might some of the things here, brother,” Genji says stepping forward to stop Hanzo before he tries to do something to Hana, who’s playfully started trying to slip the sweater over his head. The Hanzo of now would have done it, his face grumpy and tired, but letting her snap pictures, this Hanzo wouldn’t. “They do not have much of what you are accustomed to, but perhaps we can have some delivered.”

 

“Perhaps,” Hanzo says looking through the racks that are closest to Genji, pulling things out at random.

 

“Do you know what size to look for?”

 

Hanzo nods, “We snuck out last week, you- I suppose you are still my Genji- took me to the store and laughed himself sick as we tried to figure out the sizes. It was an interesting time. We were in trouble with the elders when we returned.”

 

"I don't remember that," Genji states curiously, because he doesn't remember anyone being upset. They had been home and while he had been grounded, he doesn't think that Hanzo had been punished. "I was grounded for weeks, I know that."

 

"I have extra training," Hanzo says slowly, his hands pausing over a shirt, before handing it to Genji to hold. "And work. I do not think that I will have a moment to play with my brother for a long time."

 

"A long time?"

 

Genji doesn't expect and answer and Hanzo doesn't give him one, but the smile on his brother's face is bitter and tired, which tells Genji more than he thinks Hanzo knows. He remembers that his brother had spent almost two months unable to spend time with him, siting that he had training over and over until Genji had given up on trying to include him in anything because Hanzo was too busy.

 

"Do you think perhaps that this would be adequate?" Hanzo asks softly, holding up something and waiting for Genji's nod to put it on his arm. "I do not know what I would need to be prepared for event wise."

 

"You shouldn't be doing much. Training if you want to, but I don't think that you'll be going anywhere. We do not know what happened to make you like this, even if we have an idea of what could have occurred, it's still worrying our scientists.".

 

"I see."

 

Genji is sure that Hanzo is even more displeased than he sounds, his voice going cold. He is not equipped for this, for his brother to have lost so much. He doesn't know what he's suppose to do and there's no one else who can handle this for him instead. Jesse is so deep into his booze that sometimes Genji sits behind the door to the roof until he passes out and then sits at his side all night because he's going to kill himself like this. Ana might be an option, but it's not fair of him to shove his own brother on someone who's family and friends are still dealing with her return.

 

"You're thinking too hard," Ana says softly, her smile barely there. "You should stop worrying so much, Genji. There's nothing you can do with worrying, it's better to take things as they are coming at you."

 

Genji checks where Hana and Lucio have finally stopped teasing his brother, who had left him behind in his hunt for clothes, and were showing him things that Hanzo was only pretending to dislike, "Do you think so?"

 

"It is something that I have been told might help," she agrees. "I do not know if it works as well as I was told, but it's an option that you can take."

 

"I will think on it," he promises, letting her go to stop Hanzo from snapping at Lucio for something that their Hanzo would laugh at.

 

He had known, after he had stopped hating Hanzo and had Zenyetta at his side, that there had been more going on with his family, with Hanzo and their elders, than he had understood. But, Genji thinks, that there was even more going on then he had thought. Enough so that Hanzo was slowly bending and falling under the pressure from the elders at this age, that he was turning into the monster that had followed the elders orders regardless of what they might be.

 

"Genji, what do you think of this?" Hanzo asks, his tone bordering on disgust so well hidden that he knows the others haven't heard it, holding up a shirt. "They," he gestures to Hana and Lucio, he hasn't called them by name yet. "said that I would look good in this."

 

The tank top is big, made to be baggy, with two dragons that look more like cartoons than the ones that come out of their bodies.

 

"I think you would look very good in it, brother."

 

Hanzo scowls at Genji, handing him the shirt, "Thank you, I will get it as well then."

 

"I'm sure," Genji doesn't laugh, but he wants to. It's strange but it's easier to pretend that this Hanzo is not misplaced and Genji thinks that falls mostly towards the fact this Hanzo had never tried to kill him. This Hanzo has only just gotten in trouble having fun with Genji. "Perhaps the matching sweat pants too, brother. For training."

 

Genji will see how far he can tease this one before he snaps, if only to make that darkness in his eyes vanish. Hanzo was always too smart for his own good, it was best to keep what happened between them quiet. It was better for them all.

 

"Genji, perhaps you should get something like this," Hanzo states holding up a sickly green shirt with some design. "It would match you."

 

"I should," Genji agrees taking the shirt from his brother, whom doesn't know that Genji has no shame at this point in his life, who will wear what he pleases or nothing as it can muck up his joints. "Thank you for such a keen eye."

 

"You are welcome," Hanzo says slowly, like he had been expecting something different, before turning back to the clothing racks.

 

Genji wonders if he is better or worse than what Hanzo had decided. He's not sure he knows, but he hopes that he's better. This Hanzo is certainly better than the memories Genji has of him.

 

"We still need shoes, brother."

 

"We do not have enough things?" Hanzo says raising an eyebrow. "I thought that perhaps the shoes could wait."

 

Genji grins, pleased to know that it's hidden away where no one can see it because Hanzo had hated western shoes at this age and that would be exactly what the store had in stock, "We do need them, at least two pairs."

 

"I see," Hanzo sighs, allowing Lucio to tug him in the proper direction, shoulders slumped in defeat.

 

"Better?" Ana asks curiously.

 

"I think it is," Genji agrees. "Thank you, for the advice."

 

"Think nothing of it. Come on now, we better keep him from loosing that temper of his, I like this store and being unable to return will put a damper on my shopping."

 

Genji laughs, "Of course. How could I forget you do so love to shop. Is this where we keep getting all those little cat statues?"

 

"Goodness no," Ana smirks. "Those are something else. I'm waiting to see how long it takes for Jack to realize they're multiplying. He's a smart man, but sometimes he misses the simplest things."

 

"Do we all not suffer that curse," Genji asks, because he had. He had missed so much about his brother because he had been a child, unable to look past himself, but Genji had a chance to know his brother better, if he worked at it. "Hanzo, what about these," he holds out a pair of boots, heeled and shiny. "I think you would like these."

 

Hanzo growls and Genji smirks, and if he teased him a touch more than before, no one needed to tell Hanzo that.

* * *

  


“We need him,” Hanzo hears Jack from the hidden alcove that he’s taken to spying from when he knows they are trying to hide something from him and they are always trying to hide something from him, he knows that much. “We need the extra set of hands, this payload is too important to let it slip into Talon’s grasp.”

 

It’s rude of them to pretend that he has been rendered incapable of doing what his older self has obviously been aiding them with. He may not know them, may only believe them because Genji knows too much for him to be anyone else, but he still capable. He can still fight and he will fight for them.

 

“I think that sending a kid into fight might be one of the things that we have always been against,” Amari, the older, states. “I understand we need the numbers, but this isn’t the Hanzo that we are used to working with. Genji would know best.”

 

“My brother was capable of fighting like this at a young age, it was demanded of him by the elders of the clan,” Genji’s voice is jarring. Older now than last Hanzo had heard it, but there is more, something else that leaves Hanzo unsettled. “However, your plans won’t work. I don’t know when Hanzo took up archery, but I do know that he was not as talented with it back then.”

 

“Hanzo didn’t take it up seriously until after,” Hanzo doesn’t know what McCree does to complete his statement, unable to see them. “Least that’s how he says it. Hanzo that you wanna bring with us? He’s close combat, swords and possibly some form of martial arts.”

 

Hanzo isn’t sure how he feels about McCree’s knowledge of him. Genji had stated that they were friends, close to one another, but there was something that he was missing, Hanzo was sure of it. He does know that he’s tired of being spoken of as if he’s not allowed to make his own choices or that he must follow blindly.

 

“Could just ask him,” McCree adds. “He’s been listenin’ in the whole time.”

 

He also doesn’t know how he feels about McCree’s ability to find him. It’s not subtle, it has never been, but Hanzo knows that McCree can find him anywhere on the base in a handful of minutes. Even when he’s hidden himself away because this place is terrifying. There’s so many people and he’s alone. He’s alone because Genji is here, but he’s not the Genji that Hanzo knows, and he doesn’t know what happened to make him into this.

 

They stare at him when Hanzo finally joins them, it makes Hanzo feel like the elders when they insist that he must do something for the clan. Always for the clan, even if it’s for them alone. He doesn’t fidget, but only because he’s trained himself out of it.

 

“There is a mission,” he asks when nothing seems to move and no one seems willing to actually speak to him. “That you were going to speak with me about?”

 

Jack nods, “We’re going in here,” the map pulls up and Hanzo can’t help but find the changes in technology outstanding, there’s a difference between the grainy holograms he knows and these. “The payload is important and we need to prevent Talon from taking it at any cost. If they manage,” the look on his face, what little of it is uncovered, is very clear.

 

“What would I be required to do?”

 

Hanzo is tired of this base and it’s limitations, of how he must have an escort beyond the walls of the compound and the way that eyes linger on him because he is both a known factor and unknown at the same time now. He hopes that they will stop, if he can prove himself.

 

“To my understanding, and McCree’s, you didn’t take up archery until later in life?”

 

“I can use a bow,” Hanzo says slowly, thoughtfully. “It is part of my training, however, I am not good at it. My ability to hit the target is decent enough, but rarely at the point that I have been aiming for. Which would not be what was needed, correct?”

 

“That’s correct. What is your weapon of choice?”

 

Jack rarely ventures where there are others and Hanzo, though he has heard McCree call Amari the elder a unrepentant gossip, knows that Amari tends to leave pieces of information out of her gossip. Leaving just enough to let someone think they had the story. Hanzo thinks she does it purposefully, it’s an interesting technique.

 

“Swords,” Hanzo answers, watching and waiting because there it is. The unease and the way something seems to hang in the air like the smell of rot. “I use swords.”

 

“I suppose you would,” Jack says, pushing forwards. “In that case, I will have to have someone else take to covering us. Ana, you of course, are going to be here,” a marker appears where Jack’s finger touches. “Fareeha, for now, I’m going to place you in the sky until I can get a better look at our files.”

 

“Like I wouldn’t be airbourne anyway,” Amari the younger mutters to McCree. “I am always flying, the only one who could be airborne more than me is Angela.”

 

McCree makes a quiet sound that is much akin to a laugh, “Justice comes on swift wings.”

 

“If we could be serious?” Jack states as they both start laughing. “There’s still more planning to do and we don’t have time-”

 

“Jack, I know that this is important, but you are going to assign the same basic formula. You always do, it shifts depending on terrain and who we have available, but it always falls back to your basic method,” Angela states not even looking up from the tablet in her hands. “I will be tasked with keeping Genji from dying, each member of the team on the ground is to stay close to the payload, except in the case of those that need closer range for combat. We’ve heard this enough time that I have heard Ana repeat it verbatim with a concussion.”

 

“Still knew I was concussed by the time I was finished.”

 

“Because you were slurring,” Angela says calmly. “Was there anything of actual importance, Jack? I do have to finish the physicals to make sure that everyone is currently ready to go out into the field. And several people have once more been avoiding me.”

 

Hanzo spots several people shifting, looking almost nervous as Jack glances at his map once more. They seem ready to bolt the moment that he agrees. Hanzo is certain that Angela will get them all to the medical bay, even if they are able to escape her in this moment. She is a capable woman.

 

“Dismissed,” Jack agrees after a long moment. “Hanzo, would you mind staying back for the moment? I understand you use swords now and I wanted to get you opinion on where I will be placing you during the mission, if you have time?”

 

“I have a moment,” Hanzo agrees taking another step forward, watching as those he suspected tried to bolt, one topples and Amari, the elder, smirks as she lifts her pistol.

 

“Shall I track down the rest of them for you, Angela?”

 

“Please, the assistance would be appreciated.”

 

“Hanzo, can you give me a basic rundown of your skills and any flaws that you think that you might have that could cause issues. I’m not asking for anything drastic. Fareeha can be distracted by loud sounds, Angela reacts poorly to strobes, and McCree tends to move faster than he should and doesn’t always thoroughly check that he’s killed those that he needs to,” Jack states another window coming up, covered in jolted down notes. “Anything that you might have similar in nature.”

 

“I have a tendency to try and overextend, I have been attempting to rectify it.”

 

Jack nods, “And what about skills, we can come back to flaws later if you have more but currently I’m more interested in the first.”

 

Hanzo starts talking, it feels easier like this. Like he’s not expected to become his olderself, that he’s not just some sort of annoyance for them to try and deal with instead of a person. He’s sure the feeling won’t last, it hasn’t in the short time that he has been here.

* * *

  


Genji should have suspected that McCree would catch up with him after that, found him sitting in a quiet corner of what might have passed for a garden, leaning back to stare up at the sky and trying to clear his mind.

 

“Ya know, I can ask Jack to take ya off this. Well,” McCree sounds rueful. “Can ask Ana to do it. She ain’t gonna say anythin’ about it if ya can’t handle workin’ with him. I remember swords can still make you,” he gestures but don’t say the words.

 

“I can do this, I’m not going to break down because Hanzo will have a sword and be using it where I can see him doing so.”

 

McCree hums, “Ya know, you don’t have ta pretend that it’s not affecting you. You might have forgiven him, but that doesn’t mean that you wanna be reminded of your past. Of what he did ta ya. Even the Hanzo from now knows that.”

 

“Swords always make me feel uncomfortable.”

 

There’s a long moment of silence and Genji knows that McCree is waiting for him to keep going, for him to say more about either the swords or his feelings on this version of Hanzo. It’s complicated enough a feeling that he wants to do anything but talk about it.

 

“He looks more like the brother that did this to me than Hanzo usually does,” Genji says finally, tiredly. “He’s- I have never had to see that face. Not since the incident, it is, I am not certain that it’s something that I want to know anymore.”

 

“Hanzo doesn’t seem to suspect anything,” McCree smirks when Genji looks at him. “Ya know he’s smarter than that, but you’re not the worst at hiding your feelings. Probably won’t be able to hide it if you see him in action, but he knows there’s something. Can’t miss it, ya know.”

 

“Because they’re all so cautious of him.”

 

McCree laughs, “Well, they’ve either heard stories or hacked the records and read about it that way,” he shrugs at the look Genji shoots him. “It’s not as hard as ya think. I’ve read a lot of records that I’ve seen and I’m sure that ya could do it, if you wanted.”

 

“You’re horrifyingly more talented than I thought that you were,” Genji states, almost smiling underneath his faceplate. “I will be able to do this.”

 

“If you’re certain,” McCree says softly. “Is Zenyetta not able to get back from his own assignment sooner? Pretty sure he’s gonna be more help for ya than me.”

 

“We’re both a mess,” Genji pauses. “I miss my brother. Not that this Hanzo isn’t my brother, but he doesn’t remember everything that makes up our relationship these days. I am, I am less certain how to act with this Hanzo.”

 

McCree snorts, “Can’t blame ya there. Little hard to go from the man you’re dating ta a child. It’s uncomfortable, because this isn’t my boyfriend, he’s a child that shares the same name. I care about him, but I think it’s more like how I care for Hana.”

 

“Little annoying sibling,” Genji agrees. “Weird to think of my older brother like that. When he’s suppose to be someone that I’ve spent so long looking up to.” he pauses. “I’m, I worry that we will not be able to get our Hanzo back. I know that Lena and Winston think that it should be possible, because of that the dragons said, but-”

 

“But ya can’t help but think what if, I feel ya.”

  


* * *

 

London is freezing in the middle of winter, snow piled on the sides of the road from the snow plows, the wind biting when it whistles through the alleyway that Hana and McCree are stationed in, waiting for their next order. Their task had been completed before Genji had hissed that Hanzo had rabbited off without him, promising to try and catch him before he did something stupid.

 

“He should be back already,” Hana mutters, breathing onto her hands to try and get some feeling back into them. Her gloves weren’t enough here, damp from snow and not thick enough when that breeze whistled past them, almost as bad as when Mei shot at them during practice.

 

Everything about this mission had been uncomfortable, between the oddity of Hanzo being young and acting so different from the calm, quiet man that Hana had gotten use to having protect her back to the way that Jack and McCree were both talking around something. She almost misses the military, at least when this happened it would end with the idiots measuring their dicks to see who’s was bigger. Hana could always win those contests, her mech was the biggest dick, biggest weapon, in service. Here it’s different, they all have something from her mech to Tracer’s slipping to McCree’s Deadeye, there wasn’t a way for them to compare and stop this bullshit. All she can do is wait for something to happen and freeze.

 

“Anything from Genji?” McCree asks, and Hana sighs because he’s not paying much attention to anything around them, frowning at a wall as he presses him communicator more firmly into place.

 

He’s worried, not that Hana can blame him. He might have been the one that insisted that they needed Hanzo’s help to complete this mission, but he hasn’t stopped pacing and shifting and staring off in the direction that Hanzo had vanished off into. Almost as worrying as the way that Genji seemed to pause every time that Hanzo’s hand had dropped to the sword on his waist.

 

Hana didn’t know the details, but she did know that there was something that had happened between Genji and Hanzo, years and years ago, something with a sword and their family’s elders. She’s not sure she ever wants to know more.

 

“Only silence,” Jack answers, voice crackling over the com link. “But the emergency beacon hasn’t been activated, which means they’re fine.”

 

Hana crosses her arms over her chest, hiding her hands in her armpits to try and get some feeling back in her fingertips, “Unless they were ambushed,” Hana hates the cold, she’s going to retire somewhere without winters and live out her days playing video games and suntanning. “I haven’t heard anything in a while either.”

 

McCree hisses through his teeth and spins on his heel, pacing back and forth, “Damn it.”

 

Jack’s voice takes a warning tone as he continues, “No time for that McCree,” but he sounds distracted and Hana wonders if he’s seen something more interesting than their conversation. “Follow protocol and head back to pick up, they know where to find us.”

 

Hana can’t actually remember what this mission is even about, she knows they’re here for a reason, Jack wouldn’t have dragged them some place like this without having a reason, but she can’t remember why. She always tuned the briefs out, Jack just copied and pasted the same thing over and over with minor changes when needed, so much so that Hana could probably repeat it all verbatim. The only thing that she did remember was her mech wasn’t able to come, because it was noticeable and this wasn’t the time for that, and she had packed extra ammunition for her light gun.

 

“This,” McCree states, still trying to hail Genji over the coms. “Is not going to end well.”

 

“Pretty sure that’s my line,” Hana states digging through her pockets to see if she had anything else stashed in them that might help her out with this cold weather. “You’re not going to listen to him are you?” she asks, pulling out a hand warmer successfully.

 

McCree grins at her, Hana can almost believe that it’s real, at least until there’s another breeze and the overpowering scent of the alley is replaced by whiskey from McCree’s sarape, “I’ve never been too good at following protocol. Could ask Ana ‘bout that, she’s got a tonne of stories,” the grin fades quickly, the worry back on his face. “Damn it Genji, say somethin’.”

 

Genji doesn’t. Hana wasn’t expecting him to, though she had been hoping that he would. She thinks McCree feels the same, still pacing as the comms buzz with static, a background noise designed to make sure that they remembered the link was active.

 

“That’s it,” McCree states, glancing around at the stragglers making their ways through the streets. Still busier than Hana would think it should be this late, but not as crowded as it had been when they had staked this location out earlier in the day. “I’m gonna go lookin’ for ‘em.”

 

“I’ll come too,” Hana agrees pushing off the wall, her hands feel so much warmer with the warmer activated. It might only be able to warm up one hand at a time, but it’s more than she had before. Moving might make her warm and, for all that it smells like he dumped a bottle of whiskey on it, McCree’s sarape is thick and keeps the wind from cutting through her when she stays close to his side. “Unless you think that you’ve got this covered?”

 

“Jack’s gonna have an aneurysm,” McCree sighs, looking tiredly. “But you’re an adult, make a choice and stick to it. Just know that Jack will probably attempt to kill us for this later.”

 

Hana rolls her eyes before grinning, “Whatever will I do, the old man will try to take away my video games,” she places a hand on her chest dramatically. “Like he can even touch them. The last time he tried to do something with one of my systems, he couldn’t find the on button with the light beside it and the power symbol etched onto it.”

 

“Jack has never been good with game systems, not even the one that Fareeha had back in the day. He use to just unplug it from the wall when he thought we had played too long or when he wanted our attention, use to save every five minutes because o’ that.”

  


Genji didn’t actually mean to ignore his comms, the way that he can hear Jesse become more and more worried the longer that he doesn’t answer, but he can’t move. He can’t move even when he wants to, because this is Hanzo and a sword. He hasn’t seen his brother look at a sword since their reconciliation, can’t see Hanzo holding one without remembering-

 

“We need back-”

 

Hanzo’s blade is faster than the man speaking, taking him down before he can complete his call, his brother already moving to take out what little remained of the group that had entered their sector. Eliminating the last one, moving like he had to prove that he could be useful.

 

The desperate edge to that is new, or perhaps, Genji thinks, he had been too young to realize that it was there before now. It’s worrying that he’s never realized how much pressure had rested on Hanzo’s shoulders, between the elders and the responsibilities piled onto his brother’s shoulders. But something about his brother and a sword make it harder to linger on that thought as Hanzo slows down, panting as the dead lay on the ground around him.

 

He doesn’t realize they’re not alone for a long minute, which is something he would normally be disappointed in, but all he could remember each time Hanzo had moved was his brother’s sword coming towards him.

 

“Jesus kid,” Jesse hisses through his teeth, pushing his hat up enough to see everything that had occured in the alleyway, Hana half a step behind him. “What happened?” He pauses and glances back at Hana, “You good with gore?”

 

Hana nods, but she doesn’t look like she’s going to bite Jesse for asking, “I’ve probably seen worse,” she steps around him and her face doesn’t change, but her steps pause for a moment before she powers through it, as if she hadn’t been expecting exactly what she had seen. “You took them all by yourself?”

 

“I have had more come after me,” Hanzo lies, Genji knows that it’s a lie because Hanzo was limited to twenty people at a time in spars, because the elders didn’t want him to be damaged. “When did you arrive, D.Va?”

 

“Just now,” she answers, kneeling down and picking up a comlink from one of the bodies, wiping it with a napkin she pulls from a pocket and activating it, finger pressing to her lips. She turns it off a few seconds later. “They’re scrambling from our attack and Hanzo took out what counts as at least a good third, if not more, of their strike teams. They’re not going to do anything else, they can’t risk it. Good job.”

 

“Thank you,” Hanzo says slowly as Hana drops the link and crushes it underfoot. “Have you and McCree completed your part of the mission?”

 

“We have, been trying to hail your brother.”

 

Genji turns his attention back to Jesse, the light from a match lighting his face for a moment before going out, “I am fine.”

 

“Ya sure don’t look fine,” Jesse mutters around his cigarillo as Hana keeps Hanzo from looking over at them. Jesse looks relaxed, but Genji doesn’t remember the last time that Jesse didn’t look relaxed, even when he wasn’t. “Wanna talk about it?”

 

“I do not think that this is an appropriate place to speak of such things.” Genji answers after a moment, feeling tired. “Hanzo may hear us.”

 

“Nah, Hana’s been tryin’ to get him to listen to some song. Probably will give in soon, or not. Depends on if he’s gonna stay stubborn or not.”

 

“Hanzo has always been stubborn,” Genji sighs. “Flashbacks are common for PTSD, I was diagnosed with that after joining Blackwatch. This fight brought back a lot of things from the fight that I would like to forget. It was, perhaps, not the best plan to let me watch him.”

 

“Don’t think ya had much a choice there, with him haring off like that on us,” Jesse reminds him, sighing out smoke. “Think ya’ll be okay? I’m more worried bout that than anythin’. He’s gonna ask if he did well, ya know. Worried that he wasn’t good enough.”

 

“He was,” Genji says softly. “He did all of this, Jesse. This was his work and I did nothing to help him. He deserves to be told that he did well.”

 

“But you ain’t thinkin’ that when you see him move that fast with a sword in his hands?”

 

Genji nods, slow and reluctant as he watches Hana finally convince Hanzo to put on the headphones, laughing when his nose wrinkles in distaste, “He’s my brother, but I think that sometimes I forget that he is always going to be capable of what he did to me. Hanzo, he was always good at swordsmanship.”

 

“A damn sight better archer,” Jesse says winking at him. “Hanzo’s good at anything he puts his mind to and this one’s got his mind on swords. He did this to prove that he could be useful, that he didn’t need to be watched over and worried about. He wants approval.”

 

“I noticed,” Genji sighs feeling old. He’s not, even this close to fourty, that isn’t very old. He’s still young compared to Ana and Jack, to any of the older members of Overwatch, but he feels everything that occured in his life like a weight that he can’t escape. “I- Is it strange that I believe the elders made sure that he needed approval?”

 

Jesse hums thoughtfully, “Nah, probably true. He,” Jesse nods to Hanzo, because for some reason, Jesse thinks of both Hanzos as the same person, which they are technically, and never needs to separate them for himself. He only does so for anyone he might be speaking to. “Said that when ya’ll were growin’ up that he would want the elders to approve of him.”

 

“I don’t know if I hate you for telling me that or not,” Genji admits watching Hanzo talk Hana out of her tech and showing her some song that had been popular when they were young. “I used to think that he hated me, back at first, but I don’t think he could.”

 

“Course not, loves you most, I think.”

 

Genji bites back a laugh because if he gets Hanzo’s attention now, his brother will want Genji to tell him how he did. If he should work on how often he overextends, yes, or if he should have done something different. He’s not quite ready to do so.

 

“I thought he would love you most.”

 

Jesse drops the last of the cigarillo on the ground and grinds it out, instead of into his metal palm, “No, Hanzo’s always considered you the most important thing. But, I ain’t about to begrude that, you’re his brother and he spent a long time thinkin’ he’d killed ya.”

 

“He did,” they both know that doesn’t absolve him of trying to kill Genji, but it’s always meant something. “Thank you.”

 

“Didn’t even do nothin’,” Jesse insists, smirking. “Alright kiddies,” Hana gasps in mock outrage. “We gotta get to the rendezvous before Jack decides to take my head. Think ya can get there without help or you gonna get lost again, Hana?”

 

“You’re lost,” Hana mutters taking her things back from Hanzo. “I’ll show you more on the ride back.”

 

Genji smiles softly, because Hana doesn’t come off as dangerous, not the way that he and Jesse might, he’s glad to see that his brother is relaxing around someone. Hana is good at disarming people, he thinks it’s part of why she was so popular back in MEKA.

 

“I would appreciate that,” Hanzo says because the elders were insistent he shouldn’t like things. “Thank you.”

 

“No probs,” Hana says bouncing over a puddle, Genji thinks that it’s probably blood. “Come on, old man, we’ve got places to be.”

 

“Brat,” Jesse grumbles good naturedly, before following her. “See ya.”

 

Genji waits for them to vanish, “Shall we head back ourselves, brother?”

 

“I suppose we must,” Hanzo agrees, he looks young in the dull light. “Do you think that I will be able to return home?”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

“I have responsibilities there. Duties and people who need me,” Hanzo admits. “I think Genji would miss me if I was to leave him.”

 

Genji musses Hanzo’s hair, revenge for all the years that his brother had done the same to him, “Then we’ll get you home. We have the best people working on it and we’re never going to stop trying to get you back where you belong, don’t worry.”

 

He would, however. Because Hanzo should want to go home to take care of his responsibilities, he should want to return because it’s home, like- Genji ends that thought, because his brother will come back and he doesn’t need to think in past tense.

 

“Thank you, Genji,” Hanzo mutters not looking at him for a long moment. “Would you perhaps critic my performance?”

 

“After we’re back at base,” Genji lies because he’s going to avoid this talk as long as he can. “We wouldn’t want to have someone over hear and you’ve been promised more music from Hana, she’s got the best choices. Unless Lucio is there, his are even better.”

 

Genji could do this, all he had to do was avoid one small conversation and Hanzo would forget about it. A voice that sounds like his brother says that it won’t work, but he ignores it, he can’t have this talk. He can’t. Even if it upsets Hanzo.

 

Perhaps Zenyetta would be available when he returned home, he could use some of his friend’s advice.

* * *

 

 

"You're watching him rather intensely," Ana states startling Hanzo from his observations, kind and smiling lightly. Hanzo doesn’t understand how she does that when she doesn’t know him, just a version of him. "Have you been doing this to everyone or just to McCree? He's not that big of a threat, you know."

 

Hanzo raises an eyebrow, because that's not true, can’t be true in the slightest. He's seen how McCree moves, how he does when they've run simulations that Jack takes to changing up, like they're going to need to get use to sudden shifts in the midst of their missions, McCree is good. One of the best of them, if he's not mistaken, and that Deadeye, Hanzo isn’t sure what causes it, but it’s dangerous and it seems to come effortlessly to McCree.

 

"He's not going to hurt anyone here," Ana corrects herself, smiling lightly, likely understanding his disbelief. "McCree is very talented and his ability to take down a target has always been amazingly high, but he's also a good man at the end of the day."

 

"He doesn't look at me much."

 

"No, I don't suppose that he has," Ana sips her tea, nudging the sugar closer to Hanzo's side of the table as she watches him pout at the milk, as he always does. He pouts harder, though he denies it, when she uses it. "That's not an answer that you're going to get from me, however. I'm not here to spill secrets to you."

 

"What are you here for then? To keep a watch on me?"

 

Ana laughs, muffled as it might be into the scarf that curls around her throat, "No. I'm here because you need a friend and Hanzo, the older version of him, has always been someone that I could consider a friend. It's more of a way to repay his friendship than to do anything else."

 

"He's tired," Hanzo says instead of lingering on that statement. He's heard so much about himself, about who he is and what he does, he doesn't think that he wants to know more. It's not, it's not going to help him to know about this version of Hanzo. Though sometimes he wonders what about him, that version of him, has done to earn the loyalty of people as dangerous as this. "I've been watching him and he doesn't seem to sleep much."

 

"McCree has many problems, sleep is the least worrisome of them."

 

"Shouldn't you be more concerned about his vices? They could cause an issue on assignments, lead to deaths."

 

"Jesse McCree is a good man, but he's never been good at coping. It's something that I learned very early on, for all that no one else seems to have noticed," Ana glances at McCree, sprawled over the couch and almost asleep, shaking himself when his eyes slipped closed for too long and her face is almost fond. Hanzo thinks perhaps that she knows him well. "He's worried and I don't think that he's going to stop being worried until after we know everything surrounding how you came to be with us."

 

"Were we close? McCree and I?"

 

Ana raises an eyebrow, but she answers and that is more than he had thought he would get, "Digging for answers will get you nowhere, Hanzo. You have to go to the source."

 

"McCree doesn't look like the kind of man that give me the answers that I want," he says finally, turning his attention to the quiet music playing from the television as Hana and Lucio move from side to side, both attempting to win the game that they are playing. "Not if you and the others will not."

 

"You won't know if you don't try."

 

Hanzo hums, watching McCree light up on of his cigarillos, leaning back further against the couch and fiddling with the paper book in his lap, flipping through pages to something. He's not reading, Hanzo can tell that much, his eyes don't move and the pages don't turn.

 

"Would Genji tell me?" he asks instead, because there's a secret there too. One that feels like a weight between himself and his brother. Something that happened that was so horrible that Genji doesn't always look at him. "If I asked?"

 

"No, I don't think that Genji would tell you anything more than I will," Ana answers, setting her cup down. "There's a great many things that have happened in the years and not all of them are easy to speak of."

 

"Something that I may have done."

 

He's not expecting an answer, but he says it anyway because Ana isn't without her own tells, things that Hanzo can use to extrapolate his own answers from. Ones that might tell him why Angela looks at him like he's a monster sometimes, why she admitted that they are not and will likely never be friends or why Genji froze the first time that Hanzo picked up a sword.

 

"There's always a chance."

 

Hanzo sighs through his nose, turning his attention back to the room at large, because he won't get anymore from Ana today, she will either change the subject or avoid it. It’s almost too quiet and he feels like his heart is beating like a drum, because he’s nervous. He’s always too nervous amongst this group.

 

"He's going to burn himself to death," Hanzo stands, setting his cup on the table and marching across the room to catch the cigarillo before it falls down onto McCree's shirt and sets him alight. "You are a foolish man, Jesse McCree."

 

McCree looks far less dangerous like this. Asleep and no longer frowning, limbs relaxed and head falling back, pushing his hat into his face. Hanzo watches him for a long moment before taking a step backwards, feeling even more uncomfortable and wondering about the strange urge that lingers to touch McCree to make sure that he's alright, to linger near him.

 

"You were dating," Ana grins when Hanzo sits back down, looking like she’s won a prize when he looks at her in confusion. "You asked, didn't you,  if you were close. You were dating."

 

Hanzo raises an eyebrow, "I thought you weren't going to tell me."

 

"Not when he's awake. He misses that version of you and I think it would help you to understand why he acts the way that he does around you. I mentioned he was poor at coping, this is just another aspect of it, you both are a version of the person that he loves and you are not that man."

 

"And that is important?"

 

Ana glances at him as if he’s missed something so very important, "You're far younger than the man that McCree fell in love with and you've got no memory of him. Angela says that you're likely sixteen or so and McCree might care about this version of you, but he's not in love with you."

 

"Because I am not the person he loves?"

 

"Because you're both a child and not the person he loves," Ana agrees. "If that makes sense. It's something that can be a little hard for everyone to deal with. Can you imagine someone you knew back home, the same age or close to you, suddenly being so much younger and unable to remember you? You can't have the same relationship with each other."

 

"I see."

 

"You can relax around him, McCree isn't a danger to you. He's a kind man and he cares about those that are important to him."

 

"He does not look like a kind man."

 

"I don't look like a kind woman, but I can be. We are not always what we appear to be, it takes a bit of studying to understand how people work," Ana gestures to where her daughter is seated, leaning over a tablet, hair falling into her eyes. "Fareeha can be kind, she's always been far kinder than I am, but if you catch her at the wrong moment, she will not seem that way."

 

Hanzo understands what she's saying, knows what she means, but he's not sure that he understands it entirely. Or if McCree is truly what she says.

 

“You should get some sleep yourself,” Ana says finally, setting her cup down and gesturing to one of the other couches in the room. “You’ve been avoiding it,” Hanzo hums softly. “And while I may not know why, I think you can trust me to watch your back for an hour.”

 

“I,” Hanzo is tired, he’s been drinking tea, and the varying levels of terrible coffee, in the kitchen to keep himself awake. There’s no one to trust here, too many dangerous men and women relaxing and training. People who Hanzo is unsure of his ability to take down by himself. “I suppose that a short nap would not be amiss.”

 

“Good, no shoes on the couch please,” Ana states leaning back in her chair.

 

Hanzo says something, he doesn’t even know what but he thinks that he’s agreeing, moving to the couch and sprawling across it, moving one of the throw pillows underneath his head to make sure that he could keep an eye on McCree should he need to without anything blocking his sight. It’s nice.

 

Hanzo doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he does know that he’s awake again and that time has passed since his last memory, something too close to him and voices louder than they were just a minute ago.

 

“You’ll wake him,” Ana mutters softly. “He’s a light sleeper, you know.”

 

“He looks cold,” that is Jack, closer and softer than Ana. “It’s just a blanket, I’m sure he’ll forgive me for waking him, he’s been shivering for almost ten minutes.”

 

Hanzo doesn’t remember shivering, but he does feel cold, colder than it had been when Ana had convinced him to go lay down, a blanket wouldn’t be amiss. He shifts as the blanket covers him, hiding the startled jolt shocked out of him.

 

“There.”

 

Ana laughs, “such a worrier, Jack. Come sit down for a bit, I think you could use a break.”

 

Hanzo waits for Jack to move away from him, peering through narrowed eyes at the blanket now covering him, bigger than himself and plenty warm, before trying to catch a glimpse of McCree, still asleep and with a blanket of his own, before closing his eyes and relaxing. He could sleep a little while longer.

 

* * *

 

 

"Would you like something?"

 

McCree blinks blearily at Hanzo, the throbbing in the back of his head growing as the lights in the kitchen go brighter, with his entrance. He wants to curse the automatic settings, but he thinks that if he opens his mouth for long, he's going end up sick on the table.

 

"You do not look well, Jesse McCree."

 

"Coffee, please," McCree risks, feeling bile rising in his throat and trying to focus on it instead of the memory of Hanzo saying the same thing when they had first gotten together. The first time that Hanzo had sat down in front of him and talked to him about his poor habit of drinking himself to unconsciousness.

 

Hanzo moves smoothly and with less noise than the one that would, that should, be here. His Hanzo would make loud noises because McCree had broken his promise to stop drinking like this. This Hanzo will be quiet and move like a spider along it's web.

 

"Do you need sugar or something else?"

 

McCree shakes his head, a small motion that has him biting the inside of his cheek as his head spins, "I'm good." The coffee isn't as bitter as he had been hoping, but it's more than he would have gotten if one of the others had made it. "Thanks."

 

"You avoid me."

 

"Thought it was better," McCree says slowly, closing his head as it throbs again. "Heard that the others were conflatin' ya with yourself. Thought ya would be upset if I did that."

 

"Ana says that we were close."

 

McCree doesn't drop his head to the table, but he thinks about it, "Kid-"

 

"I was not expecting you to think of me like that, I am not that person. And you are not wrong, I am a kid," Hanzo's smile looks brighter. It's missing all the years of death and loss that McCree's Hanzo has suffered. "I would still like to be able to speak with you. You might be the only person other than my brother not to conflate me with myself, even if my brother is avoiding certain things."

 

"How'd ya figure that?"

 

"Ana treats me much how I assume she treats my older self, sure she does remember that I am not him, but she has made references to things that I do not know, but he would. Fareeha will look at me and say something, but we do not hold conversations. The doctor does not like me and Genji sees me and thinks of something that I have not yet done. What did I do to make my brother fear me?"

 

"Don't think that ya wanna hear that from me. I'm not the best person ta tell you-"

 

"Does it have to do with swords?" Hanzo interrupts, looking at his own hands. "That mission that you helped me to get onto. He watched me and when he spoke next, his voice shook. He will not tell me if my performance was adequate, and there was something-"

 

"Kid, it wasn't you that did this. You don't have to know what it is. Genji probably doesn't wanna tell you because he doesn't want to burden you with things that you haven't done yet."

 

Hanzo watches him closely, "You really will not tell me?"

 

"I could," McCree says forcing himself upright and moving back to the coffee maker, the desire for more stronger than the throbbing of his head. "But I think you might have put it together yourself. I think you want confirmation so that you can finally be upset with yourself."

 

"You are far better at reading people than I thought you were," Hanzo says after a long moment of silence, looking at McCree like he’s not sure what he’s seeing. "You really will not tell me?"

 

"No, I don't think that I will. You've been beating yourself up about it for longer than I have known you. I think that if you haven't completed that deed yet. Haven't done it and haven't gotten the nightmares that my Hanzo has from it, that you don't need that burden."

 

"I have killed before."

 

McCree laughs and it’s just a touch bitter, "So I have. By the time I was your age, I had killed a number of people. Did anyone tell you how I got into Blackwatch?"

 

"I thought you were recruited to Overwatch. Were you not?"

 

"I was in a gang, Dead Eye, and Blackwatch took it down. The man in charge of Blackwatch, which was like Overwatch's shadow, gave me a choice, jail or working for him. I was under watch for years because I am a criminal. That's where I met your brother."

 

Hanzo shifts, like he’s nervous, "We have been criminals since we were born."

 

"The Shimada family is still well known for that. As far as we know, another branch of the main family took over, a cousin, I think you said once. By the time Genji came to us, he was already like that. He has gotten more robotic as the years passed."

 

"And the older me, I did that."

 

"I'm not easy to trick. I haven't confirmed or denied your role in what happened to your brother. You can ask or you can leave it be. I think it would be best for you to leave it. You're going to return home at some point, return to your proper age. Do you want to live with that until then?"

 

Hanzo doesn’t answer and McCree doesn’t press, letting it linger between them in the silence as he drinks his second cup of coffee.

 

* * *

 

“You should get some sleep,” Hanzo says softly, holding the blanket that Jack had given him weeks ago. “It’s late and I don’t think that I would like it if you didn’t take care of yourself. It’s no good if you don’t, what would I say if you weren’t healthy when I, when that version of me, comes back.”

 

McCree laughs and Hanzo can see the way that it doesn’t light up his face the way it has before. It’s not as bright or as real and it hurts. It hurts because Hanzo thinks, that maybe, if he wasn’t here, if the version of him that loves McCree was here, that laugh would be real, “I should go to sleep, shouldn’t I?” he puts down the papers that he had been looking over and leans back in his chair. “I suppose that I should start getting ready. Are you headed to bed too?”

 

“May I, could I stay here tonight? I know-,”

 

“I suppose you’re gonna need a pillow, Hanzo never has one, somethin’ about how he thinks they aren’t needed. Always ends up stealing mine, but I never got around to grabbing another one, but you best keep your blanket theft down to just that one you got there.”

 

Hanzo looks away quickly, “I’m not a blanket thief.”

 

“Sure you aren’t kid. Go get a pillow and I’ll go change in the bathroom. Make yourself comfortable,” McCree yawns, moving to his dresser to grab something to sleep in before moving to the bathroom. “You better be grateful for this, Hanzo,” he mutters closing the bathroom door.

 

Hanzo stares at it for a long moment, because McCree has been avoiding him, Hanzo is not foolish enough to miss that. He know that as much as McCree has been kind to him, has talked about who he’ll become, McCree doesn’t look at him properly, looks behind him or stares at his hands, and it hurts. He has heard so much about how McCree treats him, how they interact with each other, how they _love_ each other.

 

“Have you moved?” McCree asks, startling Hanzo out of his thoughts. “Ah, betcha don’t know where we keep the pillows, do ya? Come on, I’ll show ya where we’ve got ‘em hiding.”

 

“Thank you,” Hanzo says instead of correcting him. Genji had showed him where they had different linen closets scattered around the base. “I would appreciate it.”

 

McCree treats him softly, Hanzo doesn’t think that there’s another word to describe it, like he will break if he is touched or told something that he wouldn’t like. He will have to live with the knowledge of what he had done to Genji, what he had done to his little brother, for the rest of his life, he doesn’t need to be treated like he’ll break again.

 

“Ya can pick which one you wanna use,” McCree says stepping back after opening the closet. “Some of ‘em are harder than others, so take ya time lookin’ at ‘em.”

 

Hanzo does as McCree asks, touching and prodding the pillows before picking one, “I’m done.”

 

“Then we’ll get some sleep then. I like the side close to the wall, I hope that ya don’t mind, it’s easier to sleep when ya know what’s behind ya.”

 

Hanzo knows because he has always felt the same way, How can someone sleep without knowing what is behind them? A wall is far more permanent than someone else, but Hanzo has already overstepped this much. Already asked McCree for more than he should have and he doesn’t want to ask for more.

 

“I will be fine with that, thank you.”

 

McCree looks at him curiously, but says nothing as he drops into the bed and buries his face into his pillow, sighing happily. Hanzo forces himself not to shift, waiting a long moment before inching closer and setting his own pillow near McCree’s. He makes sure to leave space between them both, already feeling the lingering awkwardness settle like a blanket over them both.

 

“You care about him, the other me.”

 

“Ya really wanna have this talk now?” McCree asks shifting his head to look at Hanzo again. He’s smarter, sharper, than Hanzo always gives him credit for. It’s hard to remember that this is the man that Genji speaks of when he talks of missions in Blackwatch. “I thought that you wanted me to sleep?”

 

“Multi-tasking, McCree. You will take ages to fall asleep.”

 

McCree stares at him, eyes blank for a long moment, “He says that too, my Hanzo. About multi-tasking. I’ll complain about doing two things at once and he would say that it was “multi-tasking” which doesn’t actually help. Science proved multi-tasking was fake.”

 

“That is not part of what we were speaking of, McCree.”

 

“Ana told you, didn’t she? What could you possibly need to know that she didn’t say?” McCree says finally, eyes closed. “It’s not like I’m gonna tell ya the details, kid. It ain’t that important.”

 

Hanzo tilts his head to the side, “Did I know about your drinking?”

 

“Of course Hanzo knows about my drinking, little hard to hide it from someone that close. He doesn’t like it, never has, but I’ve always been bad at coping with things and this was how I did it. Hanzo always knew that I would fall back into it if something happened to him.”

 

“And he approved?”

 

“You don’t approve of something that’ll destroy someone else,” McCree says slowly, hand brushing through his hair. “But he can’t change me. If I drink myself to death after him, who’s going to be able to stop me? I can’t be denied things because of my age and I’m good at sneaking and doing as I please. Hanzo doesn’t approve, but he knows if he’s gone, no one else holds the same sway over me.”

 

“Absolutely no one?” Hanzo asks softly, curiously because McCree has friends. He has so many people who love him and yet here he is, saying that Hanzo is so important that he is the only one that can stop McCree’s bad habit. “Is that not unhealthy?”

 

McCree turns to lay on his back, hiding his eyes against his elbow, “There was someone else once, but they’re dead and gone now. And drinking myself to death is never healthy, not everything about a relationship can be perfect. I,” he snorts. “I was clean for almost three years before this.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Hanzo isn’t sure if he should feel guilty or if he should be shocked that he, some version of him, means so much to this man that he would fall back into an addiction because Hanzo was gone.

 

“Life changes can drive someone to return to bad habits because it’s comforting and something they can control.” he doesn’t smile when he says it, but he does move his arm enough to glance at Hanzo. “It’s why most people have support groups, bit hard to join one when you’re a wanted fugitive with a price on your head. They don’t try to listen to why, just say that I should stop and Hanzo wouldn’t approve.”

 

“And that is not helpful to anyone,” Hanzo mutters softly.

 

McCree hums, dropping his arm and sighing tiredly, “Gonna sleep now, less you got more questions that are burnin’ in ya head?”

 

“The accent?”

 

“That’s not somethin’ easy to explain. Short story is I grew up in the American South-West and this is the kind of accent that I have. Long story equates to people think southern accents indicate lack of intelligence and I’ve always been one to use things to my advantage,” McCree yawns. “I’m gonna go to sleep now, kid.”

 

“Good night,” Hanzo says softly, waiting in the quiet and the dark for McCree to actually fall asleep.

 

That had been more of an answer, of both answers, than he had expected. But, perhaps not. Hanzo closes his eyes and tries not to smile, McCree called the older version of him by name most times, instead of older you, he liked that more than then being told of older him, even it was accurate.

* * *

  


“You don’t have to try again,” Genji says softly and McCree tries not to flinch as Hanzo’s face twists up in outrage. “You don’t have any obligation-”

 

“I have obligations to our family,” Hanzo hisses sharply, his eyes dark. “I have obligations to the you back home and the people that are waiting for me. I can not stay here,” he glances away from Genji to Winston. “I want to try again.”

 

“If you’re sure, we have time.”

 

“Once more,” Hanzo insists and McCree takes a step forward, putting both of his hands on his shoulders. “I will not change my mind, McCree.”

 

“I know that. Good luck and I’ll see the older version of you in a few minutes. Don’t get into too much trouble when you get back. I’m sure that your Genji is having fun pranking people without you to stop him.”

 

Hanzo laughs, “I am sure that I will have a number of apologizes to make when I return home. I will be seeing you, Jesse McCree.”

 

McCree grins, stepping back to where the rest of the team has gathered, watching as Hanzo goes through the start up procedures once more. The system makes a sound, different from when Tracer activates her own accelerator, something bright flashing. Hanzo is gone by the time that McCree can see anything, nothing left where he had been just moments before.

 

"What just fucking happened," McCree hisses gesturing to the spot where Hanzo had been. "I thought you said that this would fix it, you said that this would return him home and bring our version of Hanzo home."

 

"I said there was a chance," Winston snaps back, his hands slamming onto the table in front of him. "I told all of you that I thought it would work. Hanzo insisted on using it because he had to go home. I made no promises that it would be successful."

 

Genji drops a hand to McCree's shoulder, "This is not the time for fighting, My brother wouldn't like that anymore than he would your coping."

 

"It looks like he's not going to be around to stop me anymore," McCree states, brushing Genji's hand from his shoulder. "I'm sure that you'll be able to find me if you need me, don't need me."

 

Genji sighs, watching the door slide shut behind McCree and wondering if it wouldn't have been better to have manual doors, at least if it could slam, McCree might be less frustrated by the time he reached his room. Might have second guessed himself.

 

"I'll run some more tests," Winston says finally. "See if there's anything that could have been missed or if I can track the version of the accelerator we had on Hanzo to where it was last been in the timeline."

 

Lena bounces to her feet, eager to help once more, "I'll skim through the timeline to see if Hanzo has been bounced back. Maybe he's aged back to normal and I have to grab him before something can happen."

 

"Thank you," Winston mutters already leaning back over his calculations. "I don't think I have anything for the rest of you to do, I apologize."

 

Ana hums, "I suppose I will go back to the range then."

 

"I have something to check on."

 

Genji watches them filter out and wonders if they're being honest with their destinations or if they're going to end up the same way that McCree is, drunk on a rooftop.

 

"I thought I had it," Winston says when the door closes behind Jack, glancing at Genji. "I was sure that I had it, it's the closest that I would ever be able to get with something so theoretical. Maybe if we could have more research on Tracer's abilities, I could have more, but this is the best I could get."

 

"I know," Genji does know. He's known that from the moment that Winston had said that he had an idea. There's not enough information on time travel. "I know."

 

"That doesn't mean that you're going to be pleased with it."

 

Genji sighs, "My brother is missing, I don't think I will be pleased unless he is returned to me. Do you have need for me?"

 

"No."

 

He leaves, hurrying down the halls, lingering outside the doorway to McCree's room until he's certain that no one is inside and making his way to the roof.

 

"You know, I tried this once," Jack says and Genji stops before he gets too close to the doorway, listening to the bottles against the roof and McCree's bitter laugh. "Not too long after I was suppose to have died."

 

"Did it help?"

 

"No, but for a long time, all I wanted to do was forget and forgetting was nice. Took too much to do it for long. Super serum means that it takes more to get me drunk. When I could afford it, I would drink and drink and drink. Sometimes I would get so drunk, I could almost imagine that Gabriel was there."

 

McCree snorts, "Gabe would have beat you black and blue."

 

"Part of the reason that I stopped," Jack agrees. "Gabriel would have wanted me to do that to myself."

 

"Hanzo not likin' this isn't gonna be enough. I've been tryin' that for ages."

 

Jack hums, "I know. We all know, at least most of us do, that you have a problem. We've been ignoring it because you're good at what you do and it's never been a problem on assignments. You're killing yourself."

 

"That is part of the idea. Killing myself a little faster means that I'm gonna get him back that much sooner."

 

Genji steps away, his chest aching because that's not what Hanzo would want for McCree. Hanzo would want him to be happy, to be healthy, not drinking himself to an early grave. They were in a dangerous enough line of work.

 

"He's having a talk with McCree, Jack?" Ana asks when Genji makes it back down to the sitting area. She barely waits for his nod. "That boy is to end up hurting himself worse than he thinks. Angela is already planning to lock him up until he's cleared all that alcohol from his system."

 

"That won't stop him from getting more," Genji reminds her tiredly. "He's an adult."

 

"Be that as it may, but he's not acting like one and we have lost enough people."

 

Genji doesn’t deny that, they both know that they’ve lost too many people over the years. One more might not seem like much in the scheme of things, but it would mean more to them than the others and that made all the difference.

 

* * *

 

McCree twirls the last of the bottles on the roof with him, watching his whiskey swirling at the bottom, glad to finally be alone once more. Jack had spent too long trying to talk to him about drinking and destructive habits, all things that McCree had already known because Hanzo had tried those arguments before. That had never worked to make him stop drinking when he couldn’t deal with things anymore

 

"I'm exhausted," he sighs, staring at the gate, tired of watching the swirling. "I'm-"

 

He stops, staring at the lone figure almost stumbling up to the entrance gate, dropping his bottle as he stands and wishes for just a moment that he had enhanced vision, but there's something in the walk, in the way they're moving that has him rushing to the door and down the stairs.

 

"Jesse?"

 

He ignores the confusion when he rushes through the sitting area, throwing the door open and trying to move faster. Almost stumbling over his own feet when he tries to slow down to make sure this is real.

 

"You need to sleep more," Hanzo states smiling softly just inside the gate. "What have you been doing while I was gone?"

 

McCree doesn't stop, not until he's slammed into Hanzo, holding him tightly, "You're home."

 

"I am home," Hanzo agrees. "Did you miss me?"

 

"Course I did," McCree whispers trying not to cry. Hanzo would laugh at him for crying and he can hear Genji almost to them, "How could I not miss you?"

 

"Brother!"

 

Hanzo shifts and McCree loosens his grip to let Genji slam into Hanzo, ignoring the broken sob from Genji as Hanzo whispers to him. There would be time to talk about this later, when they were done crying. McCree glances at Hanzo, catching sight of a hint of something softer in his smile. There would be plenty of time later.


End file.
